Opposites for Beginners
By Ewan
Wed, 05 Dec 2007
- 2747 reads
5 comments
I’ll watch until the end credits read ‘best boy’:
you’ll phone your friends with the hero
hanging from the cliff.
You’ll remember every birthday - even
my mother’s - although I don’t think
you even like her.
You’d watch celebrities dance out of the jungle:
I’d rather watch the radio if
it wasn’t switched on.
We choose our Christmas presents blindfold from Argos
Catalogue, but you use the
index and I don’t.
I look at you and remember that I love you
for being something other
than what I think I want.
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Comments
www.lorrainemace.com I like
Permalink Submitted by Lorraine_Mace on
www.lorrainemace.com
I like this a lot. Not sure the final verse is as good as the rest, it's just slightly awkward in the phrasing, but I still enjoyed the poem as a whole.
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www.lorrainemace.com I look
Permalink Submitted by Lorraine_Mace on
www.lorrainemace.com
I look at you and remember that I love you
though you’re nothing like what I
think I really want.
I look at you and remember that I love you
for not trying to be what I
think I really want.
Just a suggestion, but it seems to scan better. Ignore me, or burn an effigy, if I've offended you.
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www.lorrainemace.com Much
Permalink Submitted by Lorraine_Mace on
www.lorrainemace.com
Much better and it works for me. I'm going to send this one to the forums with our new super-duper link so that it gets a wider read.
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Mutabor! I like 'blindfold
Mutabor!
I like 'blindfold from Argos...' a lot.
I'd keep the ending as it is, though. What Lorraine suggests has its merits, but it's too clever and destroys matter-of-factness of the whole thing.
nice to see you back on track.
LL
Mutabor!
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