I know you love Ted Danson

Because you say so
When we are caffled
On each other's knees, sofa side.
You say he wears a hairpiece
In Becker
But this has diminished
Your longing
Not a jot
Nary a whistle.

To me, Ted is a vampire
Look at his giant mouth
It would chew you up.
I never trusted him in Cheers,
Wouldn't want him to know my name.
Don't even talk
About 3 Men and a Little Lady
What a punishment
For being a working mother.