Witch Bitch

Witch Bitch (8th June 2008, 4.40pm)

The punctuation and spelling witch sits,
twitching, staring at the screen
which is bewitching,

bemused, wondering
where all the dictionaries have gone,
whether computers have destroyed the
ability of humans to
communicate in English;
good old, plain, stupid English,
with its complex rules,
nonsensicality
and dots and dashes that bend the truth;
just a silly game to some;
lifeblood, money earnt, beloved
to more than one.

Who are these pale imitations,
Sorcerers that claim to know their stuff?
Did they listen in school?
What on earth went wrong?
Have they heard of Lynne Truss?
Have they read David Crystal?
How can they rest when they don’t know
how to manipulate language properly?

The spelling and punctuation witch sits,
wondering which of the writers
that claim they love writing
realise how they are
desecrating her world.
Is this a one-woman battle?
Can she gather her cronies,
at the double, double, make some trouble,
wave a magic wand and solve
the abc language problem,
setting the site free to make sense again?
Can the witch be a bitch
and get away with spite,
if she cloaks her words in guise
of poetry?