The Killer Couch

The Killer Couch

By Paul McCann,

After retiring from the work force Jason bought himself an old cottage in a quiet rural region called Herbertown. There were only a few hundred residents who lived there and most of the residents kept to themselves . Jason was ok with this as he was a private kind of person himself . Over the years Jason had worked hard and made his a fortune in mining .
He originally had a lucky break when he discovered an opal vein right in the first section he was mining . After taking out a loan to buy equipment he never looked back . Money meant nothing to him now . All he wanted was a quiet life . He left his Rolls Royce behind and bought a old truck and tractor . He wanted to look like one of the locals and dressed accordingly .

On the first week Jason had drove around town shopping for quaint things for his cottage . One late afternoon he came across an old second hand furniture store near town . He parked the truck around the back of the store and went in for a look around .
In the upstairs section of the old second hand shop he found a variety of used furniture items sat on display . There were cupboards , tallboys , chests and desks and tables and then hidden in a dusty corner Jason discovered an old green velvet covered couch .
It looked like nothing he had ever seen before .
There were some ornate handles and buttons fitted to the arms and strange markings on the edges of it . He was entranced by it . It looked so quaint and comfortable and he knew it would fit neatly into the cottage .
Immediately he went to speak with the owner who had an office downstairs .
Jason made his way to the office and knocked open the door ..

“Why hello there . I haven’t seen you around here before ?
Are you new to the area ?”

Jason replied , ”Why you could say that . “

“Mmm er , how can I help you ? Said the owner .

“There is a green velvet couch upstairs .” 

”I’m sorry that’s not for sale .” Came the urgent reply .

“Look I’m willing to offer you what ever you want for it “ Jason said .

The owner looked at Jason and sighed ,

“Ive already told you its not for sale . Is there something else you might be interested in ?”

“Have you sold it to someone else ?”
Jason asked as he opened his wallet and took out a large number of notes and placed them in front of the shop owners eyes .

The owner put on a pair of spectacles and took a close look at Jason and glanced at the photo of Jason ‘s new cottage that was in the window of his wallet . The owner took the notes and put them back into Jasons hand .

“The couch is not for sale . “
He demanded Jason take a look at some other items in his store .

Jason was not used to being pushed away . In life he had always got what he wanted and now he wanted the green velvet couch .

“You didn’t have a not for sale sign on the couch and legally if you have it on display as a customer I have every right to purchase it .”
Jason said .

Listen stranger I don’t want to cause you any grief but the couch was put upstairs for safe keeping . It has been in my family for generations . I inherited it and cannot really part with it for sentimental reasons . I’m sure you understand .“

Jason was not ready to be understanding . he wanted that couch .
He took another bundle of notes from his pocket and said ,

“Here is three times what I just offered you for it . I’m sure that will outweigh any sentimental value you may have .“

“The owner was not happy at all and said .
“The couch is not for sale and I have to close the shop now so I’ll have to ask you to leave ..“

Jason was a stubborn man and continued ,

“Look I’m sure I can change your mind . How much would you say this business is worth . No more than two hundred thousand am I right . What would you say if I offered you a million dollars for the business and everything in it ?”

“ I’d say the business and everything else is not for sale . Now I’m closing so if you wouldn’t mind .“
The owner took Jason by the arm and escorted him from the shop .

Jason walked back to the truck talking aloud to himself .
“I’m going to get that couch if it kills me . “

He drove back to the cottage and went in and tried to calm down .
After a bite to eat he tried to get some sleep but dreams of the couch haunted him . It was consuming him so much that he had to get out of bed .
Like a greed he could not satisfy he wanted the couch .
He just had to get that couch , no matter what .
Nothing and no one would stand in his way .

He began to sweat and shake .
It was as if Jason was someone else .
He went for a walk outside .
Pacing around like a wild animal .
It was still and dark and a long way to the dawn .
Over in the shed the truck sat .
He reached in his pocket and heard jangle of his keys .
His mind was made up .

He took the truck and drove to the second hand store .
He parked behind the store he took a rope and some tools from the truck .
He made his way to the back door talking aloud to himself .

“Nobody will ever suspect me a stranger in town . “

After he snapped the padlock with bolt cutters he was inside the store .
He went upstairs to where the couch sat and tied the rope around the couch .
With the other end of the couch he made a loop harness that he put around
his shoulders and then he pulled the couch down the stairs .
In no time at all the couch was in the back of the truck .

Nobody had saw him .
No one except the fox blinded who was blinded by the lights of the truck .
The fox who froze in the middle of the road was hit and killed by Jason who drove like a mad man through the dark .
Next an owl appeared in the middle of the road . Again Jason hit and killed another creature .
Soon his cottage was in view .
Jason was home free .
He dragged the couch inside the cottage and shutb the door .
After capturing his breath he placed the couch in front of the TV set .
He switched the TV on and sat down .

Alone and very satisfied he fell into the couch .
He had never felt anything like it . Soft and spongy .
Unaware he had triggered a series of events Jason never saw the clasps that came from the feet of the couch and wrapped around hism ankles .
He never realised a belt had also wrapped itself around his waist .
He sat there unaware of the unseen gas that was slowly sedating him .
He grew more and more comfortable in the couch .
Never before has he felt this way .
The couch cradled him like a mother in her arms .
It was so comfortable and he sat there for hours unable to move .
Once or twice he felt the sharp prick of needles undeneath .
He tried to get up to see what he was sitting on .
Then he realised the predicament he was in .
Jason struggled to break free but the couch gripped him tightly .
Days passed and Jason was hallucinating under the effects of some toxic drug that had been injected into his body .
The couch was slowly killing Jason .
Days passed and now the TV was overheating .
As the electrical cord caught alight all he could do was watch the house around him go up in flames . The fire spread quickly and Jason was overcome with the black smoke that filled his cottage .
Everything that was flammable burnt except for the couch that remained intact
In a few moments Jason the entire cottage and its contents were destroyed .
Everything except for the couch tha still sat where it had been placed .
The second hand dealer arrived before any one else and collected the couch .
He brushed off all the dust from the couch and said ,

“Punish the sinners who take not what is theirs . “
Then he lifted the couch and put it on his car trailer and drove away .

Some of the locals who had seen the smoke began to arrive to see what had happened . Some questions were being asked .

“I though this old cottage was deserted . “
Said one .
Another replied ,

“It was . The previous owner abandoned it . His brother owns the old second hand furniture store in town . “

Another said ,
“Strange goings on . Maybe the previous owner returned and burnt the old cottage himself . “

Another said ,
“There has been some talk of a drifter in the area lately .”

They all began to clear up the mess and not a word was spoken until it was finished . When it had all been cleared the owner of the second hand shop arrived and said ,

“Well hello neighbours . I was just wondering if any one here happened to seen a stranger about the place lately ?”

Everyone shook their head .
“No . We haven’t seen anybody . “

The shop owner replied ,

“Well then I suppose this must have been another one of those tragic accidents that we get from time to time . “

One of the locals walked over to him and said ,

“Yeah I guess so . How many times is this that the cottage has been destroyed by a fire ? “

The reply came “
“MMmm must be a dozen or more .“

Another asked ,
“Are you going to rebuild it again ?”

“Well you know I have to . Its family heritage .“

A few months later a replica of the old cottage was now standing proudly ihn the same spot where the previous one had been .

A new owner had bought the place .
She was a single retired lady from the city who wanted a quiet life in the country .

After a day or two she came across a little second hand furniture store and went inside to check out what items where there .

She walked up a staircase to the second floor and saw this green velvet couch with a sign that read .

Not For Sale .

She really liked the look of it and approached the owner of the store and haggled and bartered until she was blue in the face for the couch .
The owner refuse to sell it and said ,

“This couch has been part of me and my family for generations .”

She replied ,

“I know my furniture all right and let me tell you , it’s a couch to die for .“

By Paul McCann

The End