Night Out

Cherry

By Bradene

Tue, 14 Oct 2008
  • 2335 reads
10 comments
 

Thumb and forefinger
caress my arm
tingling pleasantly at first,

a whispered “ what would you like to drink?”
“just a slimline tonic please” I answer.

Thumb and forefinger
become a vice
nipping at my flesh in a bruising pinch
bringing tears to my eyes.

“Bitch, bloody sanctimonious bitch
trust you to spoil a good night out."

The drink is slammed down in front of me
the scent of juniper rises
the look on his face dares me to argue.

I don’t…

My spirit is as bruised as my flesh,
words of protest freeze on my lips
unshed tears clog my throat.

A treacherously comic dewdrop
hangs from my nose, I dash it away angrily,

from the other side of the table comes
a triumphant laugh…

©
Copyright
Vmm2008

Certificate U
Poem
Family Life
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Ewan on
A truly gruesome companion! The dewdrop would have looked better on their nose after the drink had made its way from the top of their head. I liked the way the poem turned on a sixpence in the third stanza. Will you still scan if you write 'A treacherously comic dewdrop'? Very good this one Ewan.

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by Bradene on
Thanks Ewan that's much better I think. that line has always bothered me slightly but hey! I have to tell the truth and it bloody did happen. Glad you liked the piece. Val

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I agree, wholeheartedly with Ewan, Val and that line absolutely 'makes' the poem. A shame it had to be true but all the more effective as is the thing with writing from the heart. Tina xx

 

Submitted by Bradene on
Thanks Tina, so nice to see you back again are you feeling better? Love Val x

Submitted by jennifer on
I hope you didn't stay with them. What made you sit there? Powerful stuff...

 

Submitted by Bradene on
I was out with my late Ex-husband it was shortly before I got up the courage to leave him after 29 years of turbulence, My two children made me seem like a coward, because it was only for them that I stayed, then it got to be a habit. Eventually one I was finally able to break. I must add though in the beginning he was great fun and rather lovely, though he always did like his own way, which he always got. Val x PS Didn't you read A Grand Night Out? another aspect of our marriage.

Submitted by sunshine on
excellent the sudden change of mood works so well and this is drafted so succintly, economically without any overplaying emotion that it is really powerful in evoking emotion. Margot

Submitted by Bradene on
Thanks Margot, happy you liked it. Val

Submitted by jennifer on
No, Bradene, I haven't read 'A Grand Night Out' yet - I wish I had the time to read every poem and story on the site but I simply don't! There is a stack of books to read at home, too... and writing to be done! I shall look it up later! Jen x

 

Submitted by Bradene on
Thanks Jen, sorry I should know how impossible it is to read everything and in retrospect what a stupid and self centered question it must have sounded.. I'm not really like that I promise you, * Blushing* Val x