This One's for Me

I’m in the bathroom –
hoping like hell
my mahogany rinse
works this time.
The ‘greys’ are taking over.
I’m in my bathroom,
towel round my head
and singing my heart out.
A brush – my microphone.
I’m fifty-nine for goodness sakes!
What the hell am I doing?

If he could see me now –
that ‘sometime man of mine’.
If I only I could
wash him out my hair.
Always fancied myself
as another Mitzi Gaynor.
‘South Pacific’.
Now that’s what
I really call a film.
Showing my age, I guess,
but who cares?
Love the skin you’re in.
Isn’t that what they say?
Look out, Amy Whitehouse,
or whoever, here I come.

Wait for it, Jess –
key change on the way.
If I was up on stage, this
would bring the house down.
Still – I’m thankful
for small mercies.
I’ve an audience
of one … just because
it’s time for tea.
Ain’t it, cat?
But who gives a shit?
This one’s for me!