Large Collider
By Brooklands
Mon, 01 Dec 2008
- 2244 reads
7 comments
He went full-lock round the Fiveways
then floored it past Murco and back down
the ring road. We all felt it: racing
his own best time, human endeavor
with the suspension dropped, pushing
for that slackless lap or, if it comes to that,
a head-on, a total, something so complete
his Corsa dissolves into colour and sound.
On TV, the Californian particle physicist
tries to explain in layman's terms: "Imagine
two cars, bricks on the gas, coming at each other
across a six-lane turnpike. There's something
in the trunk of one of the cars
but nobody knows what it is."
- Log in to post comments
Comments
love this - wondered about
Permalink Submitted by littleditty on
love this - wondered about 'what it is' - was, and if the poem needs Plato at all, or perhaps that is also an insider racing term i dont know, rather than just the dood himself. Enjoyed very much, great read, cheers -ka-booom!
- Log in to post comments
This is an excellent poem. I
This is an excellent poem. I love the opening line and the use of driving vocabulary (floored it, head on, total), and the shift between verses is measured well. Brilliant. The direct speech - is that verbatim?
Incidentally, I *think* it's 'layman's terms' not 'laymen's terms'. I may be wrong. But it's worth looking it up. Also 'in to' in the last line of the first verse should be 'into'.
- Log in to post comments
Mr spack..i don't know! Good
Permalink Submitted by littleditty on
Mr spack..i don't know! Good edit. It may be the hangover but I kind of miss more of the humourous vagueness in 'what IT is...' now! did you decide already? tricky business...I will return after medication ->
- Log in to post comments
I think the ending is better
I think the ending is better as, 'but nobody's quite sure what' has nice flow
Really like this Spack, great first line too.
mac
- Log in to post comments