Teachologue

Teachologue (27th Jan, 2009, 1.44pm)

Write the date first, at the top,
follow the conventions…

What are you doing? Red is my colour, mine,
that’s why I trained to be a teacher!
Black, blue or pencil. Yes, you can borrow one,
but I want it back…
Resources, trees – don’t screw it up!
Flat for the recycling…
Don’t throw it!

Use a ruler to underline,

Don’t bend it! There will be no
sado-masochistic activity in
my classroom. No, that means don’t hit him!
What you do to each other in your own time
is really none of my business.

Yes, that’s right, start a new page.

How many times? A book cannot be gay;
books don’t have sexual preferences.
Who’s banging who? What? Oh, it means
something different to me…

Right, spellings…

Because it’s important. Because Word is a
computer programme and isn’t always right.
Because it’s programmed by Americans.
Yes, they spell funny.
That’s not racist, it’s possibly xenophobic, but…
let’s just call it corrupted.

Time for poetry.

It’s not hard. Alright, it’s a little hard.
Ambiguity. Say it. Spell it. Copy it down.
It’s on the board. Well, in that case, time for
a trip to the opticians. Should have gone to
Specsavers? Well, yes I did, actually. Contacts.
Yes, they are my natural colour. Oh, thank you.

Hang on a minute, poetry.

It’s on the board. Then move closer.
Yes, I find this a bit boring too, you
could say it was repetitive. Use a dictionary.
Where they usually are.
BLACK, BLUE OR PENCIL!
I’ve heard it before. I used to use that one myself,
back when I was your age. Oh, about 1904.