100 Proof Muse

By Myndstorm

Sat, 31 Jan 2009
  • 945 reads
4 comments
 

The words are so foggy
Billowing like cigarette
Smoke almost there
And then…
Distraction is everywhere
But mostly in my head
Filling in where inspiration
Used to be. I miss my muse
Who burned and fired words
Like bullets straight and true
There was nothing I couldn’t
Put to paper when she whispered
In my ear and kissed my lips
She radiated passion, promise,
Poetry overfilling me till I was
Left with bloodshot eyes and
Headaches as the morning broke
The spell, but now she’s gone
Behind a door chained with
Cold hard truth shining like
Ice in sunlight.
I could do it without her
Sultry voice and warming
Hugs. Words are harder
To get but they exist
Outside my muse’s power.
They exist.

Certificate U
Poem
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by tamara on
Straight from the heart,I identified very strongly to this piece,beautifully simplistic without exaggeration. Brilliant work.x

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Good stuff, yet again; more, more, more please! Chris X

Submitted by jennifer on
This has bags of potential but seems to lack organisation or control...perhaps some punctuation or a few demarcated stanzas, which would make it tighter. This line is particularly effective: 'I miss my muse Who burned and fired words' - great imagery there! J x

 

Submitted by Geoff Smith on
Yeah. I kind of agree with J. You either need more punctuation or none at all, Bukowski style, which I think is the kind of effect that you are aiming for. I wasn't that into the 'muse' line though because I think we overuse words like 'muse' more because of what we think a poet should be rather than what we actually are. I did really enjoy the whole piece. I thought it raced along, and had some real grit about it. I really liked: but now she’s gone Behind a door chained with Cold hard truth shining like Ice in sunlight. Now that really hit the spot. Good Stuff JM

Thanks for reading. I am grateful for your time.