Time and time again

The first time I came around,
I learnt about pain;
I learnt about pleasure,
but I squandered the hours,
the days, weeks, months and years
gratifying the basest of my primal desires.

The second time I came around,
I learnt about hubris;
I learnt about humility
but I defied all I’d learnt;
became the product of my egotism,
preaching to all when I should have been silent.

The third time I came around,
I tried to be better,
I tried to be simpler and purer.
Instead I spent far too much time
congratulating myself for being good.
I let vanity and pride overwhelm everything.

The fourth time I came around,
I yearned for paradise;
searched the world for its gates.
I wasted an entire lifetime
without ever finding the right path
when it was beneath my feet all the time.

The fifth time I came around,
I sat and watched the world.
I let it drift past my eyes and mind
without feeling any sadness or joy,
without feeling pity or any emotion,
except a deep rooted, unexplainable smugness.

The sixth time I came around,
I learnt about anger;
I learnt about passion.
I raged at the powers that be,
ranted at the very moon and the stars
without understanding where my anger lay.

But the seventh time I came around,
I recalled all I’d seen,
and every excursion to the pit.
I forgave myself the wrongs I’d done,
and I gave away all I had to the world,
then let the heavens take me away forever more.