Too Busy

Too Busy

I finished my mug of tea and put it back on the table, glancing across at Margaret busy knitting. It doesn’t matter how long we’ve been together, I still get that same little warm feeling inside I always get when I look at her. She looked up, “What’s the matter? You’re staring at me”

I smiled, “Nothing’s wrong, I’m just enjoying looking at you.”

“You silly fool, you get worse.” She smiled and carried on with her knitting.

I noticed she hadn’t touched her tea, “Don’t forget your drink love, it’ll be getting cold.”

She put down her knitting and picked up her cup and sipped. “Have you heard from Jonathon yet? Will they be over for my birthday tomorrow?”

I had heard from him, but I didn’t want to tell her that they probably couldn’t make it, because ‘something had come up’ as he put it, so I simply tried to gloss over it, “Probably, I’m sure they’ll make it, he said he’d phone later.”

She finished her tea, and carefully placed her cup back on the saucer before taking up her knitting again, “What do fancy for your tea tonight love? I think we’ve got some of those nice sausages in the fridge, if you fancy them. I’ll go and do some potatoes in a minute.”

“That would be nice.” I stared absently down the garden, settling on the tree at the bottom. Hanging from the main branch, a piece of rope moves gently in the breeze. I thought back to when Jonathon used to swing on it, “Do you remember when Jonathon made me put that rope on the old tree down there? He kept on about it for ages, and then when I gave in, he invited all his friends around and they played on it for hours.”

Margaret looked up from her knitting and smiled, “I remember when he fell off, and cut his knee, I thought he’d at least broken his leg with all the fuss he made. Perhaps Mark will play on it like his Dad one day, maybe if they all come over tomorrow.”

I felt my stomach go over, I couldn’t tell her about his call, just like for Mothers Day, a nice bunch of flowers were delivered, but ‘something came up’ and they were a bit too busy to make it. I tried to change the subject, “Those sausages do sound nice, do you want me to do the potatoes?”

“No that’s fine, I’ll go and do them in a minute.” She finished the row she was on and packed it away. She stood up and went to pick up the cups, as she did she gave a slight groan, “Oh, I think I may have had a bit too much sun this afternoon, I’ve got a bit of a headache.”

I got up and took the cups from her, “Do you want to go and sit down inside, I’ll do the tea.”

“No Ted, I’m fine, it’s just a bit of a headache, don’t worry.”

I put the cups in the kitchen, and went back out to the garden. I wandered up to the greenhouse and without being too obvious, glanced in at the new rose bush that I’d got for her birthday, I was really pleased when I found this at the garden centre, it’s called ‘Margaret’s Surprise’, I’ll plant it out tomorrow, I know she’ll love it.

I looked back towards the house, and remembered all the good times we’d shared here. Like when Jonathon was born here, and then as he grew up playing in the garden, I even gave up my pond so he’d be safe as a toddler, promising myself one day to dig it out again, but not so far. It didn’t seem possible that we’d moved here as newly weds all those years ago, and now it’s the day before Margaret’s 65th Birthday, where did all the time go.

I headed back to the kitchen, “How’s your head love? Any better?”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine’ it’s just a bit too much sun.”

I sat down at the table, “I was just looking at the garden and remembering the games Jonathon used to play, where have all the years gone?”

“Yes it doesn’t seem possible does it, he’s a Dad himself now, and he’s done really well for himself, Regional Manager now. Mind you, do you remember when he and Hayley first got married; it was a bit different then wasn’t it. That first place they got was such a mess, all the things you had to do round there; we seemed to be there most of the time. Still they were nice times; we all used to have such a laugh over the silliest things.”

I could see a slightly wistful look come over her face, I knew that thinking back to those times often made her feel a bit sad, why do things have to change? “It’s a shame they lead such busy lives now isn’t it.” Inside I felt angry that they no longer seemed to have time to come and see us, but I then felt guilty, they did have a lot of things to do, what with Mark and his swimming club, and Hayley with her job.

Margaret must have read my thoughts, “When did things change Ted? We used to see so much of them all, but when they moved to the new estate they seemed to change, still they’ll be over tomorrow, I’m looking forward to that.”

I knew the upset she would feel if they don’t come over, so I decided I’d give him a ring again this evening and try and talk at least him into coming over.

After tea, I cleared away the plates and did the washing up, while Margaret went and watered the garden. I went and joined her after I’d finished, and I could see that her head was still troubling her, so I suggested that she should have a lie down for a while till it passed. Unusually for her, she agreed, normally she would carry on, but it was obviously worse than she was saying.

I settled her in bed, pulled the curtains across, gave her a peck on the cheek, and told her I’d bring her a cup of tea up in an hour or so. She gave me a smile and closed her eyes, and I went back down to the sitting room to watch the end of the news.

I tried to call Jonathon again, but his answering machine cut in to tell me they’re ‘too busy to come to the phone right now’, so I left a message asking him to call me about tomorrow, then I thought I’d call him on his mobile. I got the number from the book, but a message came on saying that my call could not be connected, so I gave up. I decided if I didn’t hear by 9 o’clock, then I would phone again.

At about 8 o’clock, I quietly went up to the bedroom to see Margaret. I peered into the room and could see her lying on her back, and she had her eyes open, “How are you feeling now love? Is your head any better?” I went over and sat on the edge of the bed and took hold of her hand, which felt icy cold. “Margaret, are you OK?”

There was little response from her, just a slight movement in one side of her mouth, and I knew something was seriously wrong. I don’t really remember calling the ambulance, but I must have, because the room was suddenly full of people in green overalls talking to Margaret and generally busying about. One of them turned to me, “It looks as if she may well have had a stroke, we’d better get her into hospital; I’m just going to get the stretcher from the ambulance, if you want to get yourself ready.”

The journey to the hospital seemed to take forever, but I kept on telling her that everything would be alright, and held on to her hand the way I always had. At last we arrived, and the two men from the ambulance rushed her in through the double doors, leaving me to follow.

They took her through another set of doors into a room, and I tried to follow, but a nurse barred the way, “Perhaps it would be better if you waited here while we check her over, I could get someone to bring you a cup of tea if you’d like?”

Why would I have wanted tea, I just wanted to be with Margaret, she’d be frightened with all these strangers around her, “Can’t I go in and be with her?”

“In a little while once we know what’s going on.” She closed the door, and I could see through the small window in it, as she joined the others around Margaret.

The activity around the bed seemed frantic, connecting wires to some machine or other, someone else was shining a light in her eyes, and a third person was giving her an injection or taking blood, I wasn’t sure which. She hates having blood taken, I wanted to go and tell them.

“Do you want to come and wait in the relative’s room? It would be better than standing here, I’ll come and get you if there’s any change.”

The voice came from behind me, so I turned around. The nurse standing there looks so young; she can’t be much older than Mark. Then it suddenly dawned on me, I must get hold of Jonathon, and tell him his Mum is in hospital, “Is there a phone I can use? I’ve got to get hold of my son.”

The nurse took my arm and led me away from the door, I turned to see what was happening, and could see one of the people, a doctor I assume, using those heart paddle things on her, making her whole body jump. I could feel her pain, and just wanted to go in and tell them to stop, but again he put them on her chest and she jumped. The nurse tried to usher me away, but I was transfixed, the doctor started pushing down on her chest, and I felt myself saying “Please don’t hurt her…”

The activity stopped, the one I assumed was the doctor shook his head. It could only have meant one thing.

The nurse must have realised what had happened, as she relaxed her grip on my arm, “Is there someone I can call for you?”

“My son… my son Jonathon, he should be here, he’s always busy, can you get him?”

“Give me the number and I’ll call him.”

The doctor came out of Margaret’s room, “I’m sorry, we did all we could, she had another stroke and I’m afraid she just couldn’t take it”

It made it seem more real when he said it, but I needed to see her, to tell her I’d look after her, “Can I go in to be with her?”

“Of course you can, I’ll get one of the nurses to take you in.”

Her hand felt warm, her face now looked relaxed, no more headache. Why hadn’t I realised that her headache wasn’t normal… Where is Jonathon? Why isn’t he here?

The nurse came in, “I’m sorry, I’ve tried calling your son, but the answer-phone says they’re busy at the moment, so I’ve left a message. I’m sure he’ll ring soon.”

All I could think as I held her hand, was, always busy, too busy.