Muhammad Dali

Cherry

By Ewan

Fri, 15 May 2009
  • 2390 reads
6 comments
 

Float like a butterknife,
sting like a tree:
look in the Miro, boy,
you ain't pretty like me.

Certificate U
Poem
The Long and the Short of It...
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Comments

Submitted by chuck on
No other title could possibly do.

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Great! Filled me with dyslexia. ;)

Submitted by Dynamaso on
Funny, surreal and very enjoyable.

 

Submitted by aqk on
Heartiest congratulations for a well deserved cherry.I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. It is just my humble openion, but If you change Float like a butterknife, sting like a tree: To Float like a butterknife, sting like an acacia tree: It will improve the metre of this poem.

Submitted by Ewan on
Well, I take your point about the metre of the poem; however if I were going to work on it further I would change the last line. Changing the second in the manner you suggest would take it too far from Muhammed Ali's original: 'Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee': his own description of his style of boxing. regards Ewan

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Submitted by aqk on
Oh, I see. I had forgotton Muhammed Ali's original: 'Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee': In that context, your version is better. Best regards. aqk