Young Love

By threeleafshamrock

Fri, 22 May 2009
  • 3004 reads
12 comments
 

Ducks; quarrelsome, quacking.
Swans, swanking serenely;
stolen crumbs in our pockets.

Park-keepers hut; the enemy!
Park bench, leafy hidden;
stolen kisses among the blushes.

Cheese-cloth shirt, a red dress!
Hands held surreptitiously;
stolen time, leaking innocence.

Love; new, unaccustomed,
camouflaged, enigmatic!
Stolen hearts; no crime attached.

Certificate U
Poem
Lurve Ramblings
Love

Comments

Submitted by Bradene on
You should think again this is good , original. Val x

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Love the first stanza Chris! And I agree with Val, if you've got a spare fiver you couldn't put to better use, why not enter again? Magic xxx

 

Submitted by sarah wilson on
I agree with Magic:-)

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Many thanks Val, Magic and Sarah; have bitten the bullet and thrown another Fiver away LOL. Thanks for your support and good luck with your excellent entries. A.t.b. Chris XX

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Love the line, "...stolen kisses among the blushes..." Brilliant, as is the rest of it. Much enjoyed and I wish you luck with it, Chris and the rest, of course. And the fivers - well, they couldn't really go to a better cause, could they?;-) Tina xxx

 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Thanks lovely Tina, just read your latest and ringing T.C. to get a refund ;) Glad you liked. XX

Submitted by Dynamaso on
Chris, the last stanza is the standout one for me in a really excellent piece. This is why I haven't entered the competition.

 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Thanks D. and I know that you could just rattle off something superb if you took a notion ;)

Submitted by Jupiter on
Hi Chris I am until now pretty unfamiliar with this free-flow stuff, sticking as I tend to do to rhymes, however I especially love the cheeky cleverness of the last line "Stolen hearts; no crime attached." Great stuff! Good luck in the competition.

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Thanks J. for reading. I do a lot of rhyming stuff too. Check out the rather intellectual 'Christmas Cock-Up' and you will see what I mean. ;) Thanks again for taking the time. Talk to ya later. Chris ;)

Submitted by Jupiter on
Yes 'Christmas Cock-Up' www.abctales.com/story/threeleafshamrock/christmas-cock Cutting stuff mate ;) Some great ideas and lines in there Chris. I think we're gonna get on ;) How do you fancy having a crack at writing something together in the future? Say 6 verses taking 3 each alternatively? Subject to be agreed? Just for fun.

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
No problem J. I'm up for just about anything - as you have probably already worked out LOL. ;)