Days Like This

Cherry

By sunshine

Wed, 10 Jun 2009
  • 2063 reads
10 comments
 

It’s on days like this
when rain fills
piss puddled gutters,
painting them with rainbows
and the city’s profile is set
proud against a flat grey sky

It’s on days like this
when stray purple buddleia
bloom on the roofs
of empty houses
and the homeless drunk
calls “mornin’ missus”

It’s on days like this
when schoolgirls scream
as the bus splashes past
and they set off on foot
arms tightly linked
when the song of a thrush is clear
above the chug of trucks
when satellite dishes shine
like pale midsummer moons
and when last night’s chip papers
scatter to the wind
like airborn birds

It’s on days like this

Certificate U
Poem
Miscellany
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by pinda on
Good piece,I enjoyed it Sunshine. when the song of a thrush is clear above the chug of trucks when satellite dishes shine like pale midsummer moons and when last nights chip papers scatter to the wind like airborn birds It’s on days like this Especially liked that part.

Submitted by DraxB on
I agree with Pinda, this ends beautifully and is successful in throwing the spotlight on the ordinary and mundane.

Submitted by sunshine on
Thank you Pinda & Drax for commenting. It does end better than it starts doesn't it? Margot

Submitted by Jupiter on

Submitted by mariaduffy on
Hi Margot. I love this. I love the way you've used 'on days like this' throughout. It makes your point very strong and love how you've ended it. Great writing. Oh how I wish I could write free verse! Maria x

mariaduffy

Submitted by sarah wilson on
Lovely poem Margot. Sarah

Submitted by Dynamaso on
I think the first stanza is just as strong as the last. You've employed some wonderful imagery again for this piece. I think my inner poet is sulking at the moment because I'm spending more time working on stories. I'm pleased to see yours isn't.

 

Submitted by sunshine on
Thank you everyone for positive responses. Mark I empathise with the pressure you've put yourself under - not the same I know but in my work life I write report and funding applications by the dozen, and believe me each demands a creative approach with either fact or aspirations. Whenever I'm busy with either seems I can't effectively do anything else. But your stories will make it worth the sacrifice. Margot

Submitted by DraxB on
another cherry - well done

Submitted by sunshine on
Someone asked why this ended the way it does - not making clear 'what' on a day like this. The comment has disappeared but I thought I'd answer anyway. I felt that if I spelled it out it would prevent even a little bit of thought about the contrasts I was making in what on the one hand could be just a gloomy rain sodden day, and on the other a day when there was beauty (trying not to be trite here) if you choose to see it. In this context (i.e. that of our responses to the world around us) the ambiguity is deliberate. It could be describing a state of melancholy, reflection, loss, joy, the pure bliss of existence - or all this and more. The reader chooses I guess. I don't recall who it was who wrote a comment on this site re making the reader do some work - might have been Ewen. Less is more. (I'll probably lose my cherry now!) Margot