Merciless Mirror

I love to hunt for bargain deals,
I thrive in stalking sales.
The thought of rummaging appeals,
through all the discount rails.

One day as I was walking by
a little antique shop,
a gorgeous mirror caught my eye -
of course, I had to stop.

Oh what a deal, a shopper’s bliss,
I paid just twenty pounds.
I felt elated not to miss
this bargain that I’d found.

I’d never had a full-length one,
and so my heart was shocked.
To see my body was no fun,
my confidence was knocked.

I saw my face had dropped a bit,
with crow’s feet round my eyes.
My tummy showed I wasn’t fit.
I cringed at thunder thighs!

My boobs had dropped ten inches down
to almost meet that tum.
My bingo wings just made me frown,
along with saggy bum.

I needed something done with haste
to fix my ailing look.
So off I went, no time to waste,
to get some nip and tuck.

So three months later, there I stood,
with all my bits in place.
They fixed my bod as best they could,
transformed my tired old face.

A bargain for my mirror? That
must surely be a joke.
I’m looking good, no longer fat,
but absolutely broke!