Still haven't forgave myself *18+*

Man, I've been in and out of trouble since an adolescents.
Spoiled rotten, a bad attitude with no daddy present.
I had two uncles, Quint and Roy who kept me straight.
Taught me about morals yet they were the ones moving weight.
They put the food on the table and didn't hesitate to come home late.
Twelve years old and I'm becoming a man, in the real world.
My Momma just gave birth to a little girl.
She hasn't got the same daddy as me, but she's mine.
My blood, my skin and in the carter family line.
Money is now harder than ever due to the lifestyle.
Got another Brother, his name is Kyle.
He got the same Daddy as my sister Leona.
Momma loves them yet ignores my evergrowing persona.

(Chorus)
Blame myself for my childhood.
Feel left out, I'm real misunderstood.
But that's life growing up in the hood.
But I blame myself.

Fourteen, they sending letters home from school.
Nobody cares' and nobody reads mine.
And plus my uncles been caught and they doing time.
Go down to their hideout and checkout the gear.
Some of the shit I saw brought me a dropped tear.
Saw needles, powder and bloody knifes.
What the fuck was up with their lifes?
See pictures of girls a few years older than me.
Pictures of them fucking Quint and sucking others.
All I can think of is their disrespected mothers.
I just leave the spot and wipe the tears.
Go to my den and started drinking beers.
That I just robbed.

(Chorus)
Blame myself for my childhood.
Feel left out, I'm real misunderstood.
But that's life growing up in the hood.
But I blame myself.

Sixteen and now I'm rebelling by crack selling.
Hustler with a dufflebag carrying a Mac 11.
Last time I held one of those I was just Eleven.
It was uncle Roys, he didn't play with no toys.
After school my Moma say homework.
Ijust slam the front door and say I got my own work.
Fucking around with drugs and dealing.
Daylight mischeif and I start stealing.
Wrong crowd with another wrong cloud.
Now my Momma finding rocks in my socks,
Glocks in my old wooden toy box.
I'm bad and chose my life to be like this.
But one thing for sure,
my life doesn't have to be like this.

(Chorus)
Blame myself for my childhood.
Feel left out, I'm real misunderstood.
But that's life growing up in the hood.
But I blame myself.

Life can be hurt just like everything else.
Just remember that if you upset or in trouble.
You are never ever going to be by yourself.
Just try living by yourself.
Gurantee it will test yourself.
What I said was my childhood and teen.
There some shit in my life which isn't worth seeing.
So I'm not going to mention anymore of my life.
Just remember a life is a life and a being with no life.
Is just a dimension of societies subject of matter.