Anticipation

There I was. Sitting beside my friends .we were having a really great time & we are still enjoying ourselves, I think. I couldn't be sure at that moment because I was no longer a part of the conversation. I took myself out of it and began immersing into deep silence… it wasn't the best time or the best place but I had to do it. I couldn't just…. Couldn't sit there pretending that nothing was going on, Even if my friends knew nothing about it. I kept thinking about that magical moment when he would come running' thru the door. He would take a second to search the place with his eyes, almost breathless, he will see me there sitting with them. At that same moment I would raise my head to look at his face, feel his air & draw the details of his handsome figure in my mind. Memories would come back flashing in front of our eyes as if it was yesterday. We run towards each other…with an inch between us we would just stand still… overwhelmed, looking at each others' eyes. He would raise his hand to pass it through my hair to get a clearer image of the girl standing in front of him. His hand begins to go down my back to give me a shiver thru my spine… gosh, I missed that feeling… then as his hand stops at my waist he begins to push me closer to him, embrace me, feel me between his warm arms. All I could do was to surrender, give in to this man, the beautiful man who was now hugging me with all his strength. After I gained back the ability to move my hands, I shared the hug with him, spread my arms around him with all I had, my soul...my spirit...HE. His smell was my escape, savior & salvation. Now, I can feel him smelling my hair. I felt alive when he did that. He did it every time we hugged and still does it. He moves one step back to look at my eyes again and this time I get a chance to look at his. His magical eyes were glowing with adoration & love. He puts his hand on my stomach and then looks at me with the most adorable grin of his. I smile back and then put my hand over his to feel the connection of this powerful freedom that not so many people are blessed with. Frozen at that grin, his image begins to turn paler & paler. Then he starts to fade away. I reach for him but I can't feel him. After a few seconds, there was nothing standing in front of me.

"….Jane, are you okay?...Jaane..."
"..Huh..."
"Are you alright? U haven’t said a word for the last ten minutes…"
"Where are we?"
"We are in this coffee shop waiting for the waiter to bring us our drinks… where is he, anyway? We've been waiting in here for an eternity!! "
"yea…waiting…eternity..."
Those were my last words when I realized that this is where it ends!!

We can never know about the days to come, but we think about them anyway, & I wonder if I'm really with you now or chasing after some finer day…Anticipation – Carly Simon