Asylum

By shoe

Mon, 21 Dec 2009
  • 3244 reads
11 comments
 

I don't care to exist here
if only I'd die
the alternative's ghastly
life on the outside,
my mind is my haven
my stronghold, secure
I've shuttered the windows
and dead-locked the doors,
compassion comes knocking
concern passes by
the drug abuse, gently
make's it hard not to cry,
the trusting confession room
the soft talking chair
the empathy offered
too heavy to bear,
shut my eyes tightly
cover my ears
make myself tiny
then, disappear,
each day I weaken
they know they have won
an ocean of talking
will burst through the dam,
while they pick through the debris
for remnants worth keeping
the knot of myself
will be ever unravelling.

Certificate U
Poem
You're O.K, I'm not O.K
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Very cleverly written, shoe. The ending, perfect. Tina

 

Submitted by shoe on
thank you for reading, Tina, not everyones cup of tea this one, but I like to experiment!!

 

Submitted by Mangone on
A very powerful piece Shoe! I really liked - "compassion comes knocking - concern passes by" - it made me think, then think again...

Submitted by shoe on
thanks mangone, I'm glad you like this and appreciate your comments,:-}

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Just wanted to pop back to say, the more I read this, the more I admire it and thanks to Mangone, for heading me back in this direction. Tina

 

Submitted by Mangone on
I'm with you Tina; I keep popping back for another read.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
;-) Good on you.

 

Submitted by shoe on
Thanks fellow poets, really glad you enjoyed reading this, :-}

 

Submitted by C_A_JONEStechno on
This is beautiful, Mangone. Carole

Carole

Submitted by Danger on
Shoe, this is a well wriiten yet very sad piece of work. I particularly love the image of the "mind...being a haven". A safe place where someone can go for some respite, yet I am aware that for some people perhaps those who suffer from mental illness or people that have had certain traumas that might not always be the case. It would be hoped perhaps that the Asylum itself would provide a haven.The shuttered windows speak of darkness to me. The last 4 lines are brilliant. The idea of someone picking through the debris of your life to find remnants worth keeping. I get the impression that the person in the poem doesn't think they'd find much at all. Thanks for submitting this piece of work Danger

Submitted by shoe on
Thank you for your comments Danger, I think I was trying to convey that to change or let go (of beliefs or ideas) can be scary and difficult, the person in the poem thinks, wrongly, that by letting others in, she will somehow lose herself,and what she is holding onto is all she has, kindness is the overpowering force that she cannot resist. she does not believe in the sincerity of the kindness or maybe that she doesn't deserve it, and so resists. I hadn't thought about it properly before, so thanks for your very accurate take on it.