mANNeAter
By aitticboy
Sun, 10 Jan 2010
- 3140 reads
15 comments
She'll eat your soul
in her devilishly cunning ways
Tearing at you heart strings
And draining them away
Pulling at your love
And lust for life
ripped apart before your eyes
No one needs her
No one wants her
And this is just the start
Her secrets kept untold
by the one scared of her wrath
but i have broken free of that afliction
to tell you of
Her and her wicked ways
her lying
Her relentless bitching
Attention seaking
when will her torment end
well soon we'll know
because soon people will see through
this inocent act you portray
And you'll have Nothing left
just you
empty
Heartless
Shell of remains.
- Log in to post comments
Comments
I have to admit Jack, this
I have to admit Jack, this is about as subtle as a florescent brick dangled in midair by a man with a megaphone yelling "bitchy poems over here, roll up roll up".
On the other hand it would be a good poem if not for the title and the obvious subject matter. Enjoy your revision, Bernie
Bernie
- Log in to post comments
I agree with Ben. There have
Permalink Submitted by Josephmhogg on
I agree with Ben. There have certainly been more gracefully made points.Good poem all the same.
- Log in to post comments
I thought it was about me
Permalink Submitted by Verity Valentine on
I thought it was about me and panicked. I thought this was one of your better poems purely because it has emotion and rhythm. Sabzwin xx
V. Valentine ©
- Log in to post comments
I obviously didn't take
Permalink Submitted by Verity Valentine on
I obviously didn't take enough attention to the title. Yeah it's not clean, it is bitchy, but like he said, he's ventilating emotion. I've written a couple of snide poems but nobody has picked up on that yet? I don't think it's about revenge or intentions to upset her. At least I hope not. Regardless of the subject, the poem is good xx
V. Valentine ©
- Log in to post comments
The poem may be harsh
The poem may be harsh towards this Anna girl, but poetry is about expressing emotion, annd no one has the right to stop people from writing how they feel. I'm not on any side.
Yaz
Yaz
- Log in to post comments
Jack, although the poem is
Permalink Submitted by InspiredWriter on
Jack, although the poem is indeed full of emotion and rhythm (which is good), that's a SERIOUSLY bitter, snide and generally mean comment. To be honest it reminds me of bitchy school girls.
You seem to say it's Anna that hasn't gotten over the whole situation and that she is the one clinging on to whatever is left of the relationship and stirring things up, (to make a big deal) but...to me...this poem is evidence that it's YOU who is still bitter. It's YOU who wants to stir things up and hurt people's feelings, because lets be honest, thats all this poem is about. You've been a dick, basically. And it's not right.
And i know that Anna has done her fair share of stirring and bitching, and i'm defo not taking sides but...REALLY? Was this necessary? Indeed, it might not be any of my business, but it was MY friend, and i'm sick of the way that you have just taken this way to far.
And 'i have broke free of that affliction, to tell you of her wicked ways?' I'm sorry but, you broke up with her because you basically got bored and wanted someone new. Maybe your jealous that you had no effect on her life? Maybe it's the fact that she still isnt mourning over her loss (you) that pisses you off?
You broke up months ago Jack, and she doesn't care too much anymore. To be frank, she rarely even mentions it.
And 'Tearing at your heart strings'? Fuck off Jack, you broke her heart and she got over it, you need to get over yourself.
You've got Sabrina, and Anna is moving on with her life (with the people who love and want her, which i can assure you is many). The only thing we don't want is your prattish, immature behaviour.
If i've upset/angered/offended then i'm vaguely sorry, but someone needed to say something (whether it's right or wrong) about you.
Noah
- Log in to post comments
P.s just read Sabrina's
Permalink Submitted by InspiredWriter on
P.s just read Sabrina's comment and realised that i sort of said same thing, not intentional.
Noah
- Log in to post comments
Well, I can understand your
Permalink Submitted by InspiredWriter on
Well, I can understand your anguish because your friend got hurt but who the hell do you think you are? When did you suddenly get the right to parade around...BULLYING people because of the choices they made in life? You're not God Jack AND why do you think that, after treating anna like...well...treating anna the way you did, that you suddenly have the right to have go at her for 'breaking' someones heart? Your a hyprocrite Jack! And a horrible one at that. When you broke up with Anna I didnt write a stupid poem about you did I? But I suppose it's your repulsively big Ego that makes you think that you're so high above everyone else you can do things like this, and get away with it.
You might be able to get away with it now Jack but trust me, if you're like this later in life, there will be people who won't be afraid to stand up to you and you might struggle to find people who are willing to tolerate such disgusting behaviour.
I can also tell you that it's not Anna people are starting to see through, it's you. And I am inclined to believe that the way you have acted towards Anna and Sabrina these past few months has pissed a few people off. So just step off your high horse and be a bit more courteous and humane, because even if through this poem you were 'sticking up for a friend', the real intention is that it was a prime chance for you to have a stab at Anna.
Ask yourself this; if it had been me or Gabby or any other girl who split up with Duncan, would you have written such a nasty poem to 'vent your feelings' and 'stick up for your friend'? I believe the answer to that question is no. The only reason you wrote this poem is because it was Anna (by coincidence), and for some peculiar reason you feel like you can bully her. So you took the opportunity that the break-up gave you to have a stab at her. So don't you DARE try and be all self-riteous by acting like the hero, sticking up for your friend. This poem was purely written for your own twisted intentions.
Does it make you feel powerful? Knowing that you can hurt someone like that? What the hell do you think you're achieving by hurting someone with such a horrible poem?
I have no idea jack, but just FUCK OFF. No-one cares what you think about Anna anymore okay? This strange bitter resentment that you have for her is just getting old now and it is getting on everyones nerves. You need to really get a life.
Noah
- Log in to post comments
Then lets end it there,
Permalink Submitted by InspiredWriter on
Then lets end it there, because this is starting to get ridiculous and I will stand corrected. =PP but words hurt okay? So just use a bit more...subtlty when expressing yourself.
Noah
- Log in to post comments
Then lets end it there,
Permalink Submitted by InspiredWriter on
Then lets end it there, because this is starting to get ridiculous and I will stand corrected. =PP but words hurt okay? So just use a bit more...subtlty when expressing yourself.
Noah
- Log in to post comments