Close of day
By Luly Whisper
Sun, 22 Nov 2009
- 1838 reads
6 comments
An empty house,
A darkening sky,
A skip piled high.
A stranger sifts
Through bandages,
Albums of stamps,
Mildewy books,
Medicaments.
Deserted house
And lowering sky
And heedless traffic
Whizzing by.
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Comments
Few words, but the
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Few words, but the atmosphere you create with them is highly effective.
Tina
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I like this poem. Every word
Permalink Submitted by livin-doll on
I like this poem. Every word counts and sets up the atmosphere. I especially like the "lowering sky" and the "heedless traffic". A good read.
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Yes - I like it too because
Permalink Submitted by Frances Macaula... on
Yes - I like it too because the atmosphere of grief is so obvious. The death of a loved one is bad enough but when that person dies alone and strangers have to sort through their lives, it's tragic.
The title neatly says it all. Many writers don't value the title of a poem as part of the piece but consider it just an add-on... yours sets up the whole idea.
Well done.
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/search?q=FrancesMF
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Heedless traffic, while the
Heedless traffic, while the rest of the world has no idea, but you have made that person most important, here in your dark, atmospheric poem. K
"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "
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Liked this a lot :) Rachel
Permalink Submitted by RachelPatricia on
Liked this a lot :)
Rachel xx
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