Veil of Tears

By girlbear

Wed, 29 Jul 2009
  • 1367 reads
4 comments
 

All these tears,
Still they come,
All these tears,
Every one...
Lost in the horizon
Like the golden setting sun.
Beneath a veil of darkness
TIll the tears they are none.

Certificate U
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Comments

Submitted by Beeme on
I like the repetition of 'all these tears'. A very emotive piece and great imagery 'like the golden setting sun' Well done :) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by kuno-chan on
I love it! I would just add one think though. To make it flow better I would put a comma in the last phrase. like this: TIll the tears, they are none. But that is just me. I really enjoyed the poem though. ----Kuno-Chan----

----Kuno-Chan----

Submitted by girlbear on
Thank you, that is very helpful :)

Submitted by Aenigmakil on
Beautiful. Reminds me of early Anathema (band).