my family lives in a box

By jleehamil81

Sat, 14 Aug 2010
  • 1889 reads
3 comments
 

my family lives in a box

I go and see them everyday
for I dont live in the box
there I watch my brothers play
but I dont play in a box.

Everyday and every nite
I watch them play
and hear them fight. I
see them happy and hear them cry
I hear them scream and watch them die.

They laugh, they cry,
they sing, they die
everday in the box.

my family lives in a box

I watch from outside
for I never enter the box
I yell and I cry, I scream and I shout
But no matter what they never come out.

my family lives in the box

I sit and watch them everynite
for I cant live in a box
there I see my sisters fight
but I cant fight in the box...

...But once I finally meet my a lady
and we mate to make a family
we will have a box of our very own
with love and light and God in sight
we will swing with all our might
to break and bring our walls down.

For MY family does not live in a box.

Certificate U
Poem
Short stories.
Other Fiction

Comments

Submitted by Cavalcader on
New Thanyou, got your kind email. I do like the last stanza verse now, and for a first time doing a poem, I think it is good. But if can be further help I will try, but the more experts, on AbcTales are mainly all the Cherry! ones and do ask, for further help from author's. Glad you liked mine. Keep writing, keep smiling, keep mixing, keep asking interacting with all, like our Editor t.cook says and told me, get comfort and advance. And thankyou lovely comment on my peom and (IP) was it "The Talking Moon". as have another "Once In A Blue Moon." all the best julie x cavalderl L is a mistake.

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Great to see some poetry from you, Jeremy! I like the repetition of the line: 'my family lives in a box', it gives structure to the poem. Well done! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by jleehamil81 on
thank you so much, I've been so busy this past week I havent had time to work on my 2 current s.stories...but I just felt the urge to try poetry (I have not wrote a poem since grade school) honestly I didnt think this was good, thought it was almost child-like...It feels (to me) like a rough draft I shouldve revised, but at the same time it just flowed write out of me, and it was so true and organic I didnt want to touch it. I am glad you liked it. I need to get over and read some of your stuff its just been a crazy week...I hope to finish the boat in the next week. hope to get your opinion on it. J.lee Hamil

J.lee Hamil