Who's afraid of the big bad wolf

Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Roger was a wolf. His mother had told him that he was a big bad wolf, so that if he wanted to eat he had to catch the creatures that lived in the forest.

“But whatever you do dear don’t go near a woodcutter!”

Roger wasn’t too sure what a woodcutter was, but before he grew up enough to think of asking his mother, she disappeared.

From that moment on he never saw another wolf and before long he suspected that he was the last one left alive in the forest. He did however remember some of the stories his grandfather had told him when he was little.

“Little pink animals with no fur are called pigs, they’re easy to catch and taste very nice.”

No matter how hard Roger searched through the forest he didn’t see anything to eat larger than a mouse. So he became very thin and as he got thinner and thinner he became more and more miserable.

Then one day he saw his very first pigs. There were three of them dancing round and round in a circle singing silly songs. Roger crawled up as close as he could get to them before leaping out with a roar that was supposed to paralyse them with fright. Grandfather had said this was the proper way to catch a pig, so that’s what he tried to do.

Unfortunately by now he was so weak that he could only just emit a rumbly growl that ended in a coughing fit and the pigs just ran away laughing. Roger followed them as quickly as he could but was just in time hear them slam the door of a large house built of bricks.

Grandfather had never said anything about pigs living in houses. Worse still they had run upstairs and were singing a rude song to him out of the window, “Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf ha ha ha ha ha.”

Roger slunk away with all the dignity he could muster.
There must be something bigger than rats and mice that he could eat in the forest. For some strange reason his patience was being rewarded today. On the edge of the forest he saw a rabbit hopping through a gap in a hedge into an enclosed space.

Even Roger knew that the rabbit was trapped. He crept up to the gap and looked through carefully to see where the animal had gone. Not too far away he could see him chewing away enthusiastically amongst a row of carrots. Roger bounded into the garden just as a man came running down the rows of vegetables waving a big stick. He didn’t look anything like a woodcutter, but the rabbit was terrified and hopped away as quickly as he could.

He ran straight past the amazed wolf crying out in terror, “Mummy always told me never to go into Mr. Mcgregor’s garden.”

“His flight was contagious and Roger turned and ran after him. Whoever Mr Mcgregor was, he looked very big and fierce.

Roger lost the last of what little common sense he had and just kept running until he was exhausted. He flopped down eventually in the shade of a bush and took stock of his surroundings. He didn't recognise where he was at all. Then he heard footsteps approaching, so just for once he decided to stay where he was and make sure it was safe for him to come out of hiding.

A little girl dressed in a red cloak and carrying a basket that smelled as if it was full of food was walking along a nearby path. She was so close that Roger could have grabbed the basket and run off with it, but he was still exhausted after escaping from the terrible Mr Mcgregor.

At the end of the path was a cottage, the girl was obviously going there, so Roger trotted through the woods and went inside before she arrived. Right in front of him was a nice big bed and he was so tired that he couldn’t resist the temptation. He was just dozing off when the little girl arrived. As soon as she saw Roger she dropped the basket, screamed loudly and ran off into the woods.

Roger pounced on the basket but before he could take a mouthful, a man waving a big axe burst into the room. Roger took one look and all his instincts screamed ‘woodcutter’ at him. He ran and ran until he couldn’t run any more.

He woke up to the sound of singing. The voices were already far far away and Roger was too weary to go and investigate. However, once he was awake properly he recognised the tune. It was that horrible song about the big bad wolf. Looking round he saw that he’d run as far as the pigs house and oh joy, they’d left the front door open!

He slunk inside just in case there were any more surprises waiting for him. He could hear a noise coming from one of the rooms and peeped round the corner of the doorway before going inside.

A small window was on the floor and through it Roger could see strange little animals running about. Then the window spoke and made him jump.

“Now we go to join Kate Humble and Ben Fogle in the Wolf wood at Longleat.”

There in front of his eyes were tiny little humans just like Mr Mcgregor and the woodcutter, giving out food to more wolves than Roger had ever seen in his life. Not only that but the whole pack looked fit and healthy.

Roger didn’t hesitate, bother the possibility of a couple of meals off the pigs, he was going to go and find this Longleat place and join the pack.

Which of course is what he eventually did. How he managed to get there is another story, but if you do ever go to Longleat yourself, Roger is easily identified. He is the fattest wolf there and he’s always asleep, except of course at feeding time!

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