A BODMIN MOOR EXPERIENCE

By skinner_jennifer

Wed, 19 Jan 2011
  • 5979 reads
22 comments
 

Sunlight had given way to a light mist,
nearing nightfall came a thick fog as well,
which seemed to embrace the moor.
Feelings of confusion swept over us,
unsure as we were of our next course of action,
we paused then discontinued our journey.

There was a silent stillness,
we seemed to be lost in time,
with only our sleeping bags,
between the soft, wet moss
and the eerie, thick fog,
which was adrift all around us.

Laying there on the soft earth,
with my ear to the ground,
I hear the scurry of the moor creatures,
they know we are here,
even though the fog is thick.
As I lay curled up on my side,
I wonder what the creatures are thinking,
till finally with eyes shut,
sleep takes over and dreams prevail.

On finally waking with a cold, damp chill,
which chose to engulf us,
I look around with wonder,
realising the sun was radiant where we lay,
yet all around us the fog had not lifted,
"how can this be?" I ask myself,
staring at the spot where we lay.

But soon the fog had once more eclipsed the sun,
making us feel cold once again.
We started packing up our sleeping bags, thinking how amazing to have the sun's,
beautiful light radiate down on us.

In the car with the heater on,
driving through the fog, we feel warmer.
When finally the fog diminished,
we glimpse the road once more,
until life once again comes into view.

I sometimes look back on that night with wonder,
being so close to nature and the elements,
yet feeling that safety of the sun as we awoke.

A moment in time, I will never forget.

Certificate PG
Story
Stories
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by pinda on
I enjoyed reading this Jennifer :D 'In the car with the heater on, driving through the fog, we feel warmer. When finally the fog diminished, we glimpse the road once more, until life once again comes into view. I sometimes look back on that night with wonder, being so close to nature and the elements, yet feeling that safety of the sun as we awoke. A moment in time, I will never forget' Loved the way you ended it. How did you come to write this one?

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi Pinda, thankyou so much for your comment. Believe it or not, this was a memory from the 70s, when myself and a boyfriend at the time, went down to the coast for a weeks holiday, we had £5.00 on us to last the week, that was alot of money in those days, petrol was 35p a gallon. We lived on berries and mushrooms for a week, then on the Friday we treated ourselves to fish and chips, which was a real treat. On the way back we decided to cut across the moors, but hit really bad fog, so we were stuck there for the night. It was an experience again I will never forget. Hope I have explained things to you okay. Thankyou again for reading, so much appreciated. Jenny.

 

Submitted by pinda on
:) I hope you've got more memories from the 70s to write about.

Submitted by seashore on
I could picture this one, Jenny. Very atmospheric.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I have been in very similar situations, Jennie, and you write about it so well, you bring the atmosphere right back. Just two tiny typos. First stanza, second line, you need a space between 'as well', and in the fifth stanza you need an apostrophe, ie. sun's. This stanza I like most of all...very reminscent of a hike I took in the Scottish higlands up to Loch Brandy, which, I actually never found because the fog was way too thick;-) "There was a silent stillness, we seemed to be lost in time, with only our sleeping bags, between the soft, wet moss and the eerie, thick fog, which was adrift all around us." Much enjoyed. Tina

 

Submitted by Highhat on
Really very descriptive and atmospheric. I felt I was there with you. Yes bring on more memories from the 70's Jenny! ;)Pia

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi pinda, you are so kind, I will have to get my thinking cap on. Jenny.

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi seashore, thankyou, I take that as such a compliment, coming from a true writer as yourself. Thanks for reading. Jenny.

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi Tina, thankyou for the kind comment, I'm glad you enjoyed this. Thankyou for showing me the mistakes, I have just put them right, thanks again. Jenny.

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi Pia, just had to get this memory down, you would'nt believe what a crazy week we had, it was really great fun, we even slept on the beach, which was amazing, hearing the sea when you wake up. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me Pia, I am truely grateful for your comments, also thanks for reading. Jenny.

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Very chilling, Jenny. Well done! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi Magic, thankyou so much for reading and for your kind comment. Hope you are keeping well and enjoying the work at Durham. Jenny.

 

Submitted by alcarty1 on
Nice images, Jennifer. Made me listen for the mournful baying of the Hound. Good read. Al

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Thankyou so much alcarty1, for your great comment and thanks for reading. Jenny.

 

Submitted by hulsey on
A beautifully described piece, Jenny. Very atmospheric and haunting. I've never been to Bodmin Moor, but am now tempted.

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Hi hulsey, it is a truely wonderful place steeped in history and if you like wild then yes it's wild, but I wouldn't advise wandering off, because the fog can come down pretty quickly and it can be unsafe in places. Anyway thankyou for reading and I like your comment 'atmospheric and haunting,' that is a brilliant description. You take care. Jenny.

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Jenny

You describe the feeling of Bodmin Moor very well - eerie and unsettling.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Jean,

gosh it seems so long ago when I wrote this, I'd completely forgotten about it.

Appreciate the read and glad you enjoyed.

Thank you for letting me know.

Jenny. smiley

 

Submitted by rayjones on

unsettling piece, not really scary more like subtle Beauty with an under belly of threat, uncertainty washed away by the rising sun gently burning away the pervasive fog, well written poem

Ray

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi ray,

it's strange how some moments in your life can have such a profound effect that they stay with you all your life...this was such one that I'm glad to have had the privilege of experiencing.

You're right there was a subtle beauty about the conditions that left me thinking of the story of Jamacia Inn, or Wuthering Heights and how inspiring the fog can be with it's element of mystery.

You are so kind to read this back log of writing, because it brings my own memories flooding back.

Many thanks for reading and sharing your thoughs.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by WolfdDennis on

There are bits that aren't necessary, and bits missing.. Or, just bits I've expected...

Like a pale moonlight. A feeling of vulnerability in the roiling fog..

 

'dreams prevailed' would be enough where falling asleep is described, and there was the bit with 'cold, damp chill.' either cold or chill would be enough, I guess... But that being said, I'm not qualified to criticize, not even native to English.

Altogether, it was a great read.

Cheers.

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi there,

you know I wrote this story so long ago, and I agree with you one hundred per cent on your thoughts. My wording back then was lacking in experience of description, something I've learned throughout the years I've been with abc tales.

It's always good to look back on older work and see how far I've come, which is probably why I tend to leave my older writing as it iis. Apart from when it comes to updating something that's important.

I have special memories of that night even today. The sounds, smells and that dense chilling fog is something that will stay with me forever...it was all so mysterious.

Any way it's nice to look back and read again. I'm very grateful for your feedback on my old writing, and great to re-read myself.

Many thanks.

Jenny. smiley