An extreme moment ...

By animan

Thu, 24 Feb 2011
  • 1959 reads
11 comments
 

You remember that time when we’d shortly met and
we were sitting in that bar?
You remember how you’d had your eye on that guy?
The young, handsome, cool dood,
propping up the bar.
I said ‘what, the one with the glasses?’
you said ‘no, not that one’ with a disparaging, huh? tone, ‘the one
behind him’ your eyes going off in directions – differing ...
dreamy
you remember when you’d pretended to go to the Ladies
but admitted, on your retrurn, that you’d slipped
your business card in his back pocket ...
you remember when, minutes away, your phone
buzzed and you ran off to answer it,
faster than a hart on heat,
trailing a smile and a waft of expectancy ...
you remember how you’d sent me
a txt earlier about living in the moment,
about feeling and following our desires ...
‘our wishes for others are wishes for ourselves’,
I’d thought, and as I wondered what transaction
what pre-interaction
of souls was happening behind my unturned,
respectful neck.
you came back ... deed done? ...
who could say? ... who should ask?
bizarre, old thing love ... that, for me,
was my most extreme moment ...
of love ... why? ... i don’t know ... maybe,
I’d been trusted so, so that something
simple, so simple, had been freely shared

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Comments

Submitted by Highhat on
Bitterness Animan- yes the poem tastes bitter and I am sure that is what you wanted to convey to the reader. Thanks for the read ;)

Submitted by animan on
Think you so? Ah, well, time will tell. Thanks for your thoughts.

 

Submitted by Highhat on
I always get it wrong- animan- don't worry about it- ;)Pia

Submitted by animan on
Umm, Pia, I think my reaction to your reaction was a bit glib, and I apologise. I don't think your reaction to the poem is wrong. I didn't mean to imply that at least. What I felt, at the time and now, is that I had failed to get over the ideas that I was trying to express, or explore at least. What I was trying to explore was the idea of living without any form of alpha-male ego but still having pride and a sense of value. Also, I was exploring the idea that perhaps honesty and openness were of more value than anything else in that they allowed for others to know where they stood and stand, even though the process could be a bit difficult and hurtful at times. However, no, I don't think I managed to convey that. For me, generally, writing is about exploring the limits of awareness, consciousness, norms, acceptabilities. If I'm not doing that in some way, difficult as this may be, I kind of wonder why I'm bothering to write at all. For me, generally, poetic efforts of any type need to be not really about looking good, but about trying to be better, bigger, broader in some way, although I probably often start from quite a low base, I recognise. Which kind of brings things full circle: the base of bitterness versus the goal of elevated? Best regards, and please be assured I respect everything you write very much, David

 

Submitted by Highhat on
I understood the poem was about a sort of an open relationship. I think I was projecting my own thoughts about it towards bitterness maybe. I don't think it would work- that's why.I understand you wanting to explore limits- that is a very good approach to poetry but I am afraid I don't think we humans should do it in our lives- it's far too dangerous- well not for the adventurer but in relationships it's a bit too close to home. BY the way David I thought it was a really good poem expressed very well- exploring limits or not :D I suppose I am a little more conventional- much more secure- haha ;)Pia

Submitted by animan on
hahaha! No, I'm not in a open relationship - thank god!!! I think, yes, the poem does fail by possibly implying that. It was kind of actually about someone I'd barely met. However, that was nice as they had touched a chord, I've got a lot of those! lol, but there wasn't any kind of strong investment or engagement on my part. Maybe they were just testing, protesting, self-exploring, and I kind of wanted to go along with that for them, for their sake? I take your point about the wisdom perhaps of living safely. But, in my experience, - extended!, you reach a point somewhere in the book of life where that can't work any longer and you don't have a choice about pushing the boat out, one way another, but, no, it's important to not get addicted to living on the edge. Thank you for your concern. Bless you.

 

Submitted by Highhat on
Bless you too Animan- I lived on the edge for many years until recently and now I stay on the shoreline- it's much safer for me and I have grown a bit grey at the edges. Ha ha

Submitted by Savx on
I like this poem! Savannah

Sav

Submitted by animan on
thank you ... i'd forgotten about it .... it's funny reading it again ... it brings it all back ... but the ending's weak ... a bit forced ... hey ho

 

Submitted by scratch on
And now, twelve months to the day, how does it feel animan? Personally, it carried me along and touched on some overarching themes in the human condition. Happy first birthday.

 

Submitted by animan on
Well, as you ask, it feels like distant history - happier and yet more miserable times, such is the complexity of the humnan condition. I keep my sights more akin to viable reality these days - at least I hope so. Don't feel I've developed much though. Thanks for the question and the comment.