Dishonest Love

Am I really your friend?
we meet up, go out
to bars, galleries, clubs
share jokes and confidences.

But if I were truly your friend
would I want
to kiss you so much
that it leaves me breathless?

Or am I just a creep?
feigning companionship
pretending that we have
achieved a platonic ideal.

I could confess all
risking rejection
or worse, your scorn
but then at least I would be free..

But I am a coward
so I remain
your friend
in thrall to a dishonest love.