Freedom!

We stand in the kitchen.
Silence spreads
like an oil slick.
Very slick.
It covers the surface of our marriage.

I watch your back,
the set of your shoulders.
Alert for warning signs.

Today we do not choose
to break the oily stillness.
No hurtful jibe is cast.
No accusation thrown
to lie a moment
open to our gaze,
before the viscous liquid
sucks it down,
swallowing it slowly,
to settle quietly below.

We swim through it daily.
This muck, this filth.
It pollutes the very air around us.
Sometimes,
I slip beneath
the seeming calm.
That smooth lake of quiet
where all the shadow shapes
of ugly fears
and angry memories lie.
They shift and change
and make the shiny surface quiver
Sending ripples outward for a time.

If I stay too long
I fear at last I will emerge
gasping for breath.
Suffocating
like some dying seabird,
feathers sleek and glistening,
to lie upon the shore
in helpless agony.

In my dreams
I am gliding smoothly
through the clean, clear air,
high and cold.
Free.
Alone.