First Day at The Grammar!

First Day at The Grammar

It was my first day at the big school. I was a bit scared about it but Mum said not to worry. I would be fine. I didn’t feel fine, I felt sick. I was getting more and more anxious. It’s alright for these Mums to say you’ll be fine as they push you out the door but none of my friends would be there. I was the only one to pass the scholarship and I wanted to go to Cardinal Griffin with all my mates but, no, Mum said The Grammar was the better school. But me and my friends had seen them Grammar school kids strutting about in their blue uniforms like they owned the place. They looked a right dozy bunch and I didn’t want to have to wear one of those soppy uniforms.

That’s another thing, I’m gonna stand out like a thumb thingy being got up in what Mum has bought for me. It wouldn’t be so bad if it all fitted and was brand new but oh, no, she had to listen to bloody Mrs Moskovitch. That woman just can’t keep her nose out of other peoples business. It was her that told me Mum to get my uniform at the Our Lady of Lourdes Jumble Sale. ‘Should be able to pick it all up for a song” she said. Well, I don’t know what song she’s singing but I’m not singing the chorus, that’s for sure. Anyway, when I said to Mum that the other kids would take the Mickey she just said I was lucky to have new clothes and that Mrs Moskovitch always got her clothes at the Our Lady’s Jumble Sale. I can believe it, all she needs is a wimple and she could pass herself off as the first Jewish Nun! So, thanks to her, I’ve been kitted out with a blue shirt, navy skirt…oh, and navy knickers too. Then you’ll never guess what…I have to wear a beret. Who wears a blooming beret oh, and a blooming tie too? I wouldn’t mind but all of it is far too big!

It’ll be years before I grow into this lot, if I ever do. Probably fit me just when I’m about to leave school. I feel like a right twerp dressed up if not like a dog’s dinner then more like his lunch all because Mum says I’ve got to try to fit in with the blue uniformed bunch. But I don’t want to. I don’t want to go to their poxy school either. Truth is I didn’t try to pass that stupid exam that, Eleven Plus, thing…did my best not to so I don’t know what went wrong. How I managed to pass the blooming thing is beyond me so now I’m stuck. I’m going to one school and all my friends are going to another. So, I’ll have no friends and if any of that blue brigade starts on me then I’ll pick out the biggest one and then… and then… I’ll…I’ll… I’ll just have to smack her one! I might be a bit on the small side and look like a proper twerp with this uniform thing being too big but if they pick on me they’ll soon find they’ve picked on the wrong one. Mind you, the butterflies are getting worse. I really do feel sick. Still, I’m not finished yet I’ve got one more trick to try.

”Mum” I says “I don’t feel well, I feel sick, I think I’d better have the day off case I’m sick down my nice new uniform!” Yuck! “I wouldn’t want to spoil it!” Yuck!

“Nonsense” Mum said. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“I’m sick I tell you. You wouldn’t send a sick child to school, would you?” But I knew full well she would.

Then she says “Come on or you’ll be late and you don’t want a black mark against your name on your first day, now do you?”

Yeah, I wouldn’t mind. If it means I get expelled then, yes, I would love a black mark, I thinks to myself but I don’t say anything I just clutch me stomach and make a few groans and grunts but she’s having none of it. Cocks a deaf ‘un in fact. They don’t make mothers like they used to. They used to be kind, sweet and lovely to their children but I have to have one that is very, very wicked, so wicked she sends her poor sick child to a big school where she’s got no friends and will be picked on and probably beaten up just to get her lunch money. That reminds me…

“Mum, can I have me lunch money?”

“No you bloody well can’t” she says “I’ve done you a packed lunch”

“What sandwiches?”

“Yes, sandwiches, what do you think?”

“What kind of sandwiches?”

“Well, Mrs Moskovitch very kindly gave me some of her prawns so I’ve made you a lovely prawn sandwich. Prawns are very expensive so I don’t think any of the other children will come to school with a prawn sandwich for lunch so you’re a very lucky girl.”

Oh, yes, very lucky, I don’t think. See, that’s what I mean bloody Mrs Moskovitch again, can’t keep her nose out of other peoples business!

“But Mum, you know I don’t like fish and they’ll stink the place out.”

“Now you just listen to me young lady. Don’t go getting ideas above your station. Since you’ve been at that school you’re like a different child”

A different child! Since I’ve been at that school! I haven’t even started there yet. I tell you, I think she’s flipped. Different child! If I am it’s because she insists I go to that bloody school. Now I definitely will get picked on because I’ll stink of fish! I’ll just have to bunk off. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do, I’ll bunk off! Those blue uniformed twerps aint gonna get the chance to make mincemeat out of me.

“Now come on, child. It’s time you were going.” With that she shoves my lunch into my satchel and pushes, yes, pushes me out the door. Me, a sick child! “Now mind how you go and look after your new uniform it cost a bob or two.”

New uniform! Who is she trying to kid. A blind person could see this lot aint new. Now perhaps you can see what I mean about her being wicked. I tell you I was right at the back of the queue when Mothers were being dished out.

So I sets off for The Grammar and when I gets near the gates there’s a sea of blue milling about but just as I’m about to walk in me Mum comes rushing up “Here, Dozy Dolly Daydream!” She says, trying to catch her breath. “You forgot your lunch!” I give a quick glance round to see who’s looking ‘cos me Mum’s still got her curlers in and she’s wearing her slippers…the ones with the holes in the toes. Not surprising really, they’re the only ones she’s got…the ones with the holes! But I hadn’t forgotten the sandwich because when she wasn’t looking I threw the packet back inside the door just as she was about to close it. I’ll say this for her, as Mums go, she’s determined I’m gonna have this lunch, she’s prepared, courtesy of Mrs M. Well then, come lunchtime, I’ll just have to find somewhere…a place, where I can sit away from the rest but I won’t be able to eat that blessed sandwich I know it for a fact…and as for that Mrs Moskovitch…

Anyway, when lunchtime comes, you’ll never guess what? I found a nice empty table tucked away in one corner of the Dining Hall, which was huge, when this girl comes up and sits herself down beside me and says.

“What have you got in your sandwiches may I be allowed to see?”

Is she for real? No-one talks like that, do they? She looks normal enough but she speaks like a right prat. Anyway, I show her my prawn sandwich and then she shows me what she’s got and you’ll never guess? She’s only got my favourite…Chocolate Hazelnut Spread!

“I don’t suppose you would care to swop?” She asks almost timidly.

“Oh, I don’t know about that…me Mum made these especially for me!”

“Yes, my Mother very kindly made these for me but I don’t like chocolate, you see.”

“Oh, go on then. Put like that.” I didn’t like to see her look so downcast. It’s true! I didn’t! Then I made a grab for her sandwich so bleeding fast before she changed her mind. So she ate my prawn sandwich and I had her one…the one with the Chocolate Spread!

Then at last it was home time and the two of us walked to the gate and I said “See you tomorrow, Philadelphia.” That’s not her name it’s just what I call her. Her name’s Philomena. Philomena what sort of name is that? But we hit it off. Well, if I can unload prawn sandwiches onto Philly and she can unload her Chocolate Spread ones onto me then we’re bound to get on. Besides, at Playtime this afternoon, this big, red-faced second year girl started picking on Philly so I waded in and gave her a right good pasting. She might be a second year but she wasn’t going to pick on my mate and get away with it. So Philly and me we sort of clicked.

Then when I got home me Mum’s only waiting for me at the gate. I can’t remember the last time she did that. What’s she doing waiting at the gate, anyone think I was still at junior’s?

“Hello love, how was your first day at The Grammar?” Mum says, “Now, I hope you’ve not spoilt your nice new uniform or scuffed your new black shoes?”

I might be just eleven but who is she trying to kid? New shoes! NEW SHOES! These flipping awful, clod-hopping black shoes, up until last week, were being worn by my brother!

“Have you made any friends yet?” Mum asked as she rifled through me satchel, looking for any stray bits of prawn sandwich the way that mothers do. Well, my Mum does, ever since she found a sandwich in with me P.E. kit which she said was disgusting. I said it was all right. I was just keeping it warm. It was wearing a fur coat so I guess it was warm!

“Yes, I have” I said “And you’ll never guess what her name is?”

“Go on then, tell me” said Mum.

“Philomena!” I said.

“That’s not a name that’s an anagram!” Mum says.

“What’s an anagram?”

“Never mind.”

So, I went upstairs to my bedroom to get changed out of my uniform. Well, I didn’t want it to get spoiled and I thought to myself maybe this school might turn out all right after all…

I hesitated, just for a moment, as my hand closed on the door handle. It felt strange…to be here again, feeling equally as nervous as on that first time but then, as I entered the classroom, all the children stood up and said “Good Morning, Miss McAvoy,” just exactly as we had done.