Me and my washing-machine head

By blighters rock

Thu, 15 Mar 2012
  • 5144 reads
14 comments
 

March 14-AA Thought for the Day.

Can I get well? If I mean ‘Can I ever drink normally again?’ the answer is no.
But if I mean ‘Can I stay sober?’ the answer is definitely yes.
(I wish that wood-shredding machine would stop)
I can get well by turning my drink problem over to a Power greater than myself,
(I need to get an extension for the TV aeriel now I’ve moved the room around to get away from the snoring wall)
That Divine Principle in the universe which we call God,
(I wonder if that parking ticket went to my old address, I haven’t bothered to change my address on my driving licence so it could well have done. I might need to fight my corner in court because the ticket was wiped in a debt relief order and the lady at the CAB told me it was fine, plus I’ve still got the email I sent them)
And by asking that Power each morning to give me the strength to stay sober for the next twenty-four hours.
(I should go and see Mum today but I need to make a load of calls. I’ll do the calls this morning and see Mum in the afternoon)
I know from the experience of thousands of people that if I honestly want to get well, I can get well.
(Shit, I’ve got to ask Pam if I can use the printer to send off a few letters, she’s bound to make me grovel)
Am I faithfully following the AA program?
(Er, what was the question? Am I faithfully following the AA program?.. this is when I realise that I forgot to turn my washing-machine head off when I started reading. I can’t remember a thing. The wood-shredder’s stopped. I don’t know how long for but it gives me time to retrieve my thoughts. I go back to the top of the page, read through the meditation again and shake my head when I realise that I haven’t taken in a word because my head’s full of shit.
I don’t know how to reply. I honestly want to get well, that’s a given, but I have to be honest. It’s going well, I think, and so I say ‘Yes, I’m doing well in the program’, (notice how I didn’t actually answer the question) but then I see Naked Tea on the table. It’s a great little book sent to me by fellow Abcer Chuck and as I remember last night, how I read it and was cast back to the wild old days of partying and hedonism, I grimace solemnly and add ‘but I need to work harder’)
Persevere in all that God’s guidance moves you to do. The persistent carrying out of what seems right and good will bring you to that place where you would be.
(‘where you would be?’ That’s awful English. I wish I could edit this book. Hazelden should know better but, let’s face it, they’re only American)
If you look back over God’s guidance, you will see that His leading has been very gradual
(this room needs a hoover)
And that only as you have carried out His wishes, as far as you can understand them, has God been able to give you more clear and definite leading.
(I could easily better that sentence. It’s too long and it doesn’t flow at all well)
You are led by God’s touch on a quickened, responsive mind.
(Joe’s such a two-faced twat. I bet he’s been talking about me to the new guy)

Certificate 15
Story
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by oldpesky on
I think you've captured the internal battle well here, Richard. How, no matter the importance of the task at hand, we still can't switch off that little bugger inside who wants to head off at a tangent. I watched Horizon on iplayer last night. Was about how the unconscious mind controls more of our thoughts and actions than what we'd like to believe. At least I think that was the gist of the programme, my unconscious mind dragged me to sleep before the end.

Submitted by blighters rock on
Thanks for reading, Pesky. I won't be holding out on a cherry for this but felt like posting it for the hell of it. Finding it quite hard to write at the mo but things are generally looking up. I hope all's good with you. ps. I know just what you mean about the unconscious; it's a sly little bugger at times. Better the devil you know and all that.

 

Submitted by sid on
I like this. 'The Snoring Wall' made me smile, as did the last line, 'Joe's such a two-faced twat.' Finding the humour in our situation's half the battle, I reckon. Thanks for the read

 

Submitted by mozzythefirefox on
Thx! Sorry if part two doesn't come out until next month. This takes awhile to write

Submitted by mozzythefirefox on
P.S i have several ideas but don't know which to work on: Two brothers who fight in civil war: one in north, one in south A pantoum about a ship on the ocean Part two of the paradox Yet another greek mythology nerd thingamabob A guy who fights in the war in france that lasted like 100 years

Submitted by mozzythefirefox on
Yus! My desert pantoum was cherrypicked :D

Submitted by mozzythefirefox on
Thx for the good review

Submitted by Raventongue on
i like the format of this. How at first glance it's the AA thoughts at the forefront, and then the bracketed thoughts under the surface, but the way you've placed them gives it that sense of back-and-forth, conflict, two states of mind playing tug of war over you.

Submitted by hudsonmoon on
I love the honesty in this, Richard. Especially the opening. Rich

 

Submitted by oldpesky on
And I've been thinking of this one too. Instead of brackets why not use italics and leave a space between the different voices?

Submitted by blighters rock on
Hi Mozzy, Raventongue, Rich and Pesky. Thanks very much for your comments. That's a great idea, OP, but I still can't work out how to do italics when submitting. Give us a clue, guv.

 

Submitted by oldpesky on
Who would've thought I'd be handing out technical advice? Certainly not me, but here goes. Italics - type < em >whatever you want in italics. When you're finished type < /em > When you do it don't put spaces between your < and your em and the > Go on, try it. On another note, I think this piece is ripe for some future development, when you can be bothered.

Submitted by oldpesky on
Believe me, it's easier to do it than it is to explain it. Ask Stan or FTSE who will explain it much better than me.

Submitted by Sooz006 on
This reminded me so much of why I lost my driving licence for a year... Speed camera, speed camera, speed camera Salad or spaghetti for dinner? Flash. The same camera got me three times, twice in one week. All you can do is keep taking one day at a time and never look back. If you fall don't give up, just get back on the wagon and start a new daily count. I'm nearing the end of my second week off the cigs but I've been off and on them for fifteen years. Good to know that things are good for you at the mo Richard. Only criticism with this is that I don't think you need the brackets.