Sinking and drinking

The crack of a can like a stab to my chest.
You drink your poision and i can not rest.
Anxiety takes over there is no where to hide.
Watching you do the thing i can not abide.
Its killing you softly though you wouldn't agree.
Little by little i think its killed me.
Numbed the love i once had , i feel broken and bruised.
Empty , disgusted , used and abused.
A family disease Alcoholism is named.
The lives that it ruins and with it the shame.
I want the serenity the steps talk about.
But right at this moment i want to scream and to shout.
It's grip is too strong , rushes sraight to your brain.
But i am the one who is going insane.
Pack my bags run away is the dream in my mind.
Start again somewhere new , leave this nightmare behind.
But it's not that easy when a child is involved.
I wonder the damage as our son evolves.
These negative patterns he's seen growing up.
I feel the guilt as you continue to sup.
You've doubled in size and don't seem to care.
The strain on your heart , are you even aware ?
Sinking and drinking into a dark endless hole.
Is this your life purpose, your ultimate goal?.
What doesnt kill you makes you stronger.
I believe this is true , and i hold on a little longer.
I hope you hit your rock bottom and get the help that you need.
Go to A.A and begin to suceed.
Start the journey of living , to reach full potential.
Show your son what your made of which is truly essential.
Until then i'll just work on myself.
Follow my dreams that were once on the shelf.
For i have re-claimed my power.
That i once gave away.
For a brighter tomorrow.
Starting today.