'If' from an idea by Kipling and There's More!

‘If’ from an idea by Kipling!

If you refuse to ignore your foe’s distress
Even though your foe refuses to confess
If you can make no attempt to suppress
And can abandon all hope of redress
If you do not look out for approbation
And can find forgiveness for evil words
Or you refuse to offer condemnation
Then enemies will sheath their own bright swords.

If you can respect those that least deserve it
And offer friendship to some erstwhile foe
If you can defeat an enemy by wit
Then you leave them with no where else to go
If you can succour those in desperate need
And make no mention of your act again
If you look for no return for your good deed
Then you strive to achieve and will attain

If you do this with kind heart and gentle smile
Then you have proved yourself a friend by deed
If your friendship measures equal to a mile
Then you will find a friend when you have need
If you can show by example how to live
And tell others the way ahead is clear
If you can show a hurting heart can forgive
And by your deed make no attempt to smear

If you can turn around just one offender
And give sense to a lost and wasted life
If you can be the Law’s greatest defender
Then praise will flow from his grateful wife
If you deal with the insolence of office
And not make it something that you detest
If you can handle problems without notice
Then, you, my friend, are numbered with the best!

AND THERE’S MORE

And Another ‘If’ from an idea by another Kipling!

If you like to have your cake and eat it too
But only after eating all your stew
If the cake makes the day one that you will rue
And your face turns into an ugly kind of blue
If you are greedy for a fondant fancy cake
And you can not find a way to deal with this
If you can’t find a woman that likes to bake
Then without a doubt something is amiss.

If you were to spend more of your leisure time
But still can’t find food on the Internet
If I am not way past my normal bedtime
Then I may make for you a small snackette
If you should find fondant fancies aplenty
Yet you refuse to share you greedy sod
If you stuff your face with not one but twenty
Then one day you will answer to your God

If I should put a stop to your greedy ways
And take not just one tiny cake but three
If we should toss a coin to see which one pays
But one gets pinched then please don’t look at me
If I am to be forbidden one small cake
And I fade away right before your eyes
If I become ill so I can no more bake
Know what was said about me was all lies

If cakes don’t appeal what is there instead?
Was all I asked your oh so touchy baker
If it is that easy to make the man see red
Then perhaps replace him with a Quaker
If I’m sick of cake then what can I enjoy
Oh dear, my wages and my P Forty-five
It seems I am no longer to be in your employ
So the only song left to sing is “I Will Survive!”

End