A year before I became a high wire trapeze artist

A year before I became a high wire trapeze artist
and a year and two days
before the whole,
every bone in the body broken, coma thing
I had already decided that I needed a radical change of direction
in my career path

after many sleepless nights
I had narrowed my choices down to two -
pastry chef
or lion tamer

one would involve
balancing on the cusp of certain death every day
a mixture of insanity and the blinding white heat of adrenalin pumping reality

and the other would involve working with lions

deciding to try out the latter
in order to make an informed decision
I found my local travelling circus
to be most accommodating
when I approached them
for some work experience

it transpires that there are job vacancies opening up
in this field of work
on a daily basis

I admit that I had expected
health and safety
to be quite high up the list of priorities
in lion taming
but I was only given two pieces of albeit essential advice
from my one eyed, one armed instructor “The Mighty Zeppo”

“Don’t make any sudden movements or they will rip you to shreds until the only things left are your shoes. Lions don’t like shoes.” and

“try not to look nervous”

seconds later I was given my whip
and ushered into the cage
with alarming expedition

overall I learned a great deal from the experience
not least of which
that I can
climb up and over a 10 metre high fence
topped in barbed wire
in just under 8 seconds