The Lovely Hilda

It was 1950 and I was 16 years of age when Mother sat me down and gave me the sad news about father.

He's run off with another woman she told me, they've run off to Norfolk to run a turkey farm together. He never wants to see either of us again.

I was in total shock, as Father had been openly homosexual for the past 6 years, in fact he had brought a man home with him from the war and had kept him locked in his room since 1945.

It was years later that I found out the sad truth, Father had died in a freak accident, he had mistaken a large handgun for a hairdryer!

So it was now up to me to become the man of the house.

The cries from Mothers bedroom at night were sometimes quite frightening, I first thought that she was pining for father, but soon realised that it was because of the many " Gentleman callers" that she had from time to time. The cries and screams were from them and not her as they soon realised that Mother was somewhat adventurous in the bedroom department.

I left school straightaway and got myself a job at the local hardware store called Murphy and Sons. Old Mr Murphy never had any sons just two daughters, but thought that sons sounded better. I later found out that his real name wasn,t Murphy either but was in fact Oldman. it soon dawned on my why he had changed it.

Old Mr Murphy was a good boss, the wages were small but he gave me the opportunity to double my wages if I sold well. He would say to me " meet your target today boy and I'll double your wages" Funny though he never told me what the target was until the end of the day after we had cashed up, I always just missed it!

After two years I decided to move on, a new much bigger store was opening at the other side of town called Watsons. I was going to be the new Manager.

Thats where i met the Lovely Hilda.

I was first struck by her mass of ginger hair, apart from that her face was perfect. her little
pert nose was slightly off centre of her face but perfect just the same. She had long blond hair, which complimented her delicate ginger beard. She wore her hair in plats, at least i think they were plats it could have been from lack of combing but she insisted that it was deliberate. She was a little on the heavy side but no more than twice my weight and I was only a little over twelve stone.

I loved her from the moment I laid eyes on her and she me. She had that cute way of looking straight at me with one eye as the other would slowly drift away and look elsewhere, stunning!

We became inseperable from day one, we went everywhere together, which could be quite embarrasing when we were out socially and one of us wanted to use the toilet, but that was us, young and carefree.

She took me to meet her family, they were great.

Her father was musician, he played the harmonica, never spoke, just played the harmonica. He had his own style of playing, couldnt read music and couldnt play be ear either, he just played the harmonica.

Her Mother was a lovely lady, very tall for a woman of 78. somewhere between 6ft 5 and 6ft 8ins. She,d had Hilda late on in life when she was 60. She had been told by the doctors that she couldn,t have any more children since the problems with the birth of her first daughter Elaine 14 years earlier. But a miracle happened and god blessed her with another daughter. Everyone was shocked as she hadn't even looked pregnant.

Elaine was amazing, she was 14 years older than Hilda but they were very close. I saw the photos of Elaine when she was a lot younger, she was a lot heavier back then, but went away to Clacton for a month with her Mother and came back slim and well, what a coincidence Hilda was born in Clacton at exactly the same time....amazing!

Being a red bloodied man i wanted to take our relationship further, but Hilda wanted to keep herself pure until our Wedding night. But i can confess that I won the day and on a number of occasions touched her belly button and both her knees, but then again I am very persistent.

Mother had taken up a hobby since Father passed, she had started finding stone on the beach, taking them home, polishing them till they shone like glass then putting then on twine and making necklaces. She never sold them or gave them away, she wore them all. Unfortunately this led to curvature of the spine and eventually she died from a broken neck in 1957.

Hilda and I were married in April 1958, we wanted to marry earlier but waited until her father was released from hospital after swallowing the harmonica that he loved so dearly. He had been in his local pub one evening when the accident happened, according to all 46 people in the pub that night he had simply swallowed it down with a pint of beer by mistake. it was just a coincidence that it was the same pub where three years earlier he had accidentally sat on it when going to the toilet, that time the operation took longer as the surgeon had to break up the instrument into small pieces before removing it. unfortunately some peices were left in his back passage which meant that we always knew when Hildas father had wind!

The wedding was a small affair, just me, Hilda, her mum and dad and Elaine.

We were married at St Bethanys, our local church, the Vicar was Rev Hamish Stewart. Nice Scottish man, he had buried Mother the year before, it had taken him all day to dig the grave, but being careful with money didnt want to pay anyone else to do it. it was gone midnight before he had covered the grave over.

We had the reception at The Crown public house, we all had a great time especially Elaine who seemed to be well known in the pub, she kept disappearing for 15 minutes at a time to the alley at the back with different men. When i questioned her about it, it turned out to be obvious really. She was telling them they're fortune. Apparently she was really good at it because at the end of the evening she had earnt quite a nice sum of money.

Now was the time i had been waiting for, our wedding night, I was excited and so was Hilda. I could tell the signs. her breath had aquired that peculiar smell. a mixture of shrimp paste and disinfectant. I had first noticed it when I gave her the engagement ring a year earlier, she looked at it and smiled, then we kissed for the first time. I was taken aback at first by the strange smell but had come to like it over the past 12 months. It was like eating a fish sandwich and then rinsing your mouth out with Dettol at the same time.

We went back to Mothers house, which was now mine and was to be our marital home. I wanted to carry Hilda over the threshold but was worried about my back and the width of the entrance hall, so we decided to walk over the threshold instead. We very slowly walked up the stairs not hand in hand as the stairs were not wide enough, but with Hilda in front and me behind following. I loved the way her buttocks moved from side to side and hit the wall and the banisters.....marvellous.

Now it was time, I undressed down to my nearly white underpants and waited for Hilda to do the same. She was such a shy thing, it took almost and hour for her to get out of her clothes, I had no idea about the amount of boils and moles that woman have, or about the amount of surgical cream that has to be applied to certain parts of a womans body to stop it chafing, but eventually she stood there before me naked!

It took me a while to work out which bits were what, as a lot of her body just rolled ino one large lump but I loved it all. I took her in my arms and kissed her, now there was a different smell, yes the shrimp paste and disinfectant taste was the same, but now it was combined with a smell of white horse olis and germoline, what a lucky man I was!

As we laid on the bed we started to explore each others bodies, the only part of my body that Hilda had never seen or touched was of course my manhood, she seemed to be suprised by the shape and size. Her family had always kept dogs and of course she had seen a lot of dogs thingies. Therefore she had assumed that all were the same, small, furry and sometimes with a pink or red thing at the end. So when she touched me for the first time and felt my 3 inch circimcised bald member she was somewhat suprised. I had always had a problem with body hair and was completely bald from the neck downwards so I had no pubic hair. She was also suprised that I couldnt lick my own genitals. I hated to admit that i had tried on several occasions.......

Her body was somewhat different, there were lots of parts that I had never seen or even knew existed. Eventually after lots of exploration and guidance from Hilda I found her woman area. Our private parts met and I think we made Love. Difficult to say for definate as it was hard to see the areas involved but i enjoyed it and Hilda grunted twice so I am sure she did as well.

It took a while before we managed to make love properly almost 5 years to be exact, but then one magic day Hilda gave me the news I had dreamed of. We were going to be parents,

The pregnancy was difficult for Hilda as she was uncomfortable for most of the time due to her being on the heavy side already. I doted on her hand and foot during those months, dressed her, bathed her and helped her in her toilet duties. Not many men can say they have cleaned up after a 26 stone woman has "been".

Then in May 1964 she gave birth to a wonderful baby girl, we called her Mary.

Hilda chose the name as she heard it being said by our lovely Irish midwife, as soon as she was born, although Hilda was a bit drowsy after the birth, she remembers hearing the midwife say,

"Mary mother of god, will you look at that!"

Amazing.......................