Take the Next Road on your Left (Teleplay) Part 2

SC1. POLICE STATION TAINSTAL TWO HOURS LATER
[A TYPICAL POLICE INTERVIEW ROOM WITH JUST THE ONE TABLE WITH A TAPE RECORDER ON IT CHARLIE IS SITTING AT ONE END AND TWO NON-UNIFORM OFFICES (COLIN TUDOR AND TOM WINDSOR) THE OTHER. TUDOR IS VERGING ON THE OBESE AND HAS A ROUND FACE AND MOUTH WITH SHORT BLONDE CURLY HAIR. HE LOOKS LIKE AN OVERAGE BABY. WINDSOR IS TALL AND WIRY. HIS ANGULAR FACE TAPERS TO A NARROW JAW ALMOST AS IF IT WERE SCULTPED TO GIVE THE LEAST REISITANCE TO WIND. THEY LOOK LIKE THE POLICE’S EQUIVALENT TO LAUREL AND HARDY WITHOUT THE WINSOME HUMOUR]
TUDOR:
WHO ARE YOUR MATES THEN?
CHARLIE [TAKEN ABACK]:
WHAT MATES?
WINDSOR:
FRIENDLESS ARE WE? ALL ALONE; LEFT HOLDING THE BABY?
CHARLIE:
LOOK I DIDN’T MEAN TO HIT HER – SHE HIT ME
TUDOR:
THERE’S A RARE SIGHT THOMAS!
WINDSOR:
INDEED – KEEP DEATH OFF THE ROADS BAN PEDESTRIANS!
TUDOR:
I SUPPOSE SHE WROTE YOUR MERC OFF THEN?
CHARLIE:
THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT. SHE RAN INTO THE ROAD
WINDSOR:
BUT WHAT WERE YOU DOING THERE?
CHARLIE:
I WAS DRIVING A CAR
TUDOR:
CAR; A MERCEDES? – MORE THAN A CAR WOULDN’T YOU SAY - A HIGH PERFORMANCE VEHICLE PERHAPS? ME AND THOMAS - WE DRIVE CARS
CHARLIE:
IT’S STILL FOUR SETS OF WHHELS ON A FUCKING ROAD!
WINDSOR:
MY, MY - HIGH PERFORMANCE LANGUAGE – TSH – WE’LL HAVE TO GET THE SWEAR BOX OUT COLIN.
TUDOR [LEANS IN TOWARD CHARLIE MENACINGLY]:
BY THE LOOK OF HIM, THOMAS, WE MAY MAKE A TIDY LITTLE SUM BY THE TIME THIS INTERVIEW’S OVER
CHARLIE [LEANING BACK APPREHENSIVELY]:
I HAVEN’T KILLED HER HAVE I?
[TUDOR IGNORES HIM AND PULLS CHARLIE’S WALLET FROM HIS OWN TROUSER POCKET. HE BEGINS TO PICK HIS WAY THROUGH THE CONTENTS PULLING OUT HIS DRIVER’S LICENCE. WINDSOR LEANS OVER TO CHECK IT OUT]
WINDSOR:
CHARLES LUCRE…YOU ITALIAN?
CHARLIE:
I’M IRISH ACTUALLY, WELL HALF-IRISH. MY DAD’S NAME WAS FLAHERTY.
TUDOR:
TOO COMMON WAS IT?
CHARLIE:
I NEEDED SOMETHING…DIFFERENT
WINDSOR:
FLASH COLIN
TUDOR:
OR SOPHISTICATED THOMAS?
CHARLIE:
APT.
TUDOR:
APT?
CHARLIE:
FITTING
WINDSOR:
FIT FOR WHAT?
CHARLIE:
I SELL INSURANCE…SUCCESSFULLY
TUDOR:
THAT MEAN YOU GET TO CAUSE YOUR OWN ACCIDENTS?
WINDSOR:
NICE COLIN, NICE
CHARLIE:
I MAKE A LOT OF MONEY
WINDSOR:
BUT NOT AS FLAHERTY?
CHARLIE:
CHRIST WHAT IS IT WITH THE NAME? I CHANGED IT BECAUSE IT WAS TOO…
TUDOR:
IRISH?
CHARLIE:
YEAH…MAYBE…I SUPPOSE
WINDSOR:
WE’RE IRISH?
[CHARLIE RECHECKS THEIR ID’S]
CHARLIE:
YEAH, A REGULAR COUPLE OF JACKEENS.
[WINDSOR STANDS UP AND WALKS AWAY WITH HIS BACK TO THE TABLE, THEN SWINGS ROUND AND PLACES HIS HEAD NEXT TO CHARLIE’S RIGHT EAR]
WINDSOR (IN A QUIET INSISTENT VOICE):
TELL US WHERE THEY WENT?
CHARLIE (LOOKING BEHIND HIM NERVOUSLY):
OVER THE HILL AND FAR AWAY
TUDOR:
FLANDERS, PORTUGAL AND SPAIN.
WINDSOR:
SHARP, COLIN, SHARP. SO YOUR FRIENDS ARE ABROAD THEN?
CHARLIE:
YOU DON’T MAKE MANY IN MY GAME
WINDSOR:
COLLEAGUES? ASSOCIATES?
CHARLIE:
OH THAT LOT, THEY’LL BE ECSTATIC
TUDOR:
SURE, THEY GOT AWAY
WINDSOR:
SCOT FREE
CHARLIE:
BOYS IF YOU’RE GONNA TORTURE ME WITH CLICHES I’LL CONFESS NOW
CUT TO:

SC2. EMERGENCY ROOM OF TAINSTAL DISTRICT HOSPITAL
[THE WOMAN (ADEONA) CHARLIE KNOCKED OVER IS LYING ON A BED PROPPED UP AT THE BACK. SHE HAS A COLLAR AROUND HER NECK ON AND BOTH LEGS IN ARE PLASTER. A DOCTOR (PATHMANATHAN) IS TALKING TO TWO PLAIN CLOTHES DETECTIVES AT THE FOOT OF THE BED IN A LOW VOICE]
DOCTOR P (LOW BUT STRESSFUL VOICE):
YOU CAN INTERVIEW HER IN THE MORNING!
KENNEDY:
THAT MIGHT BE TOO LATE. THESE WERE PROFESSIONALS. WE’D LIKE SOME SORT OF DESCRIPTION TO CHECK AGAINST THE DATABASE
DOCTOR P:
SHE CAN’T TALK. DO YOU WANT HER TO TRY AND MIME A PHOTO-FIT?
KENNEDY:
WE CAN PROMPT HER; COLOUR OF HAIR, HEIGHT. SHE ONLY HAS TO NOD OR SHAKE HER HEAD.
DOCTOR P:
THE WOMAN HAS UNDERGONE A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE. IT’S A WONDER SHE’S NOT IN CLINICAL SHOCK. I CANNOT ALLOW YOU TO DRAG HER BACK TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME NOW. SHE NEEDS TIME
NIXON:
WE UNDERSTAND. SHE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO HELP US AT ALL. WE’LL BE BRIEF
DOCTOR P:
WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN THE BANK?
KENNEDY:
NO LUCK. THEY’VE TOLD US THE ROBBERS ALL WORE SKI MASKS. THEY’VE GIVEN US THE COLOURS OF THEIR EYES, ALL CONTRADICTORY OF COURSE, BUT NOTHING CONCRETE
DOCTOR P:
HOW CAN SHE HELP THEN?
NIXON:
A WITNESS SAW THE GETAWAY CAR. THE DRIVER WAS BARE HEADED
DOCTOR P:
DIDN’T HE DESCRIBE HIM
KENNEDY:
ALL HE COULD SAY FOR SURE WAS THAT HE WAS ‘YOUNGISH’
DOCTOR P:
WHAT ABOUT THE CAR?
NIXON:
DUMPED – TWO STREETS AWAY. THEY EITHER SWITCHED CARS OR SOMEONE ELSE WAS WAITING FOR THEM.
DOCTOR P:
WELL I’M AFRAID THAT’S ALL YOU HAVE TO GO ON THEN OFFICERS
[HE NODS TO THE NURSE AND WALKS OVER TO THE WOMAN]
DOCTOR P:
GIVE HER THE SEDATIVE NOW.
[HE PLACES HIS HAND ON HER ARM REASSURINGLY AS THE NURSE INJECTS HER]
DOCTOR P:
MY NAME’S PATHMANATHAN. THESE OFFICERS WOULD LIKE TO INTERVIEW YOU BUT I’VE TOLD THEM TO WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW WHEN YOU’RE A LITTLE BIT STRONGER (ADEONA SMILES WEAKLY AT HIM)
DOCTOR P:
WE’LL TAKE YOU UPSTAIRS TO A MORE COMFORTABLE BED AND YOU CAN SLEEP. YOU’RE SAFE NOW. THEY’LL BE A 24 HOUR WATCH ON YOU (SHE FROWNS CONCERN) NOW DON’T WORRY IT’S PRECAUTIONARY. I’LL BE HERE VERY EARLY TOMORROW MORNING; I WON’T WAKE YOU BUT I’LL ENSURE YOU’RE NOT TROUBLED UNTIL I THINK YOU’RE STRONG ENOUGH
[ADEONA MOTIONS TO HIM AS IF TO SAY SOMETHING AND DOCTOR P LEANS OVER TO HEAR, AND THEN PULLS AWAY REALISING ADEONA HAS FALLEN ASLEEP]
DOCTOR P (TURNING TO THE OFFICERS):
PLEASE DO NOT TRY TO SEE HER BEFORE I HAVE
[THE DETECTIVES EXIT]
CUT TO:

SC3. INTERVIEW ROOM. TAINSTAL POLICE STATION
[WINDSOR AND TUDOR HAVE LEFT CHARLIE ALONE. A POLICE WOMAN, SHIRLEY, COMES IN WITH A COFFEE]
CHARLIE:
OH THANK YOU; I’M GOING TO NEED THIS
SHIRLEY:
JUST BEING HUMANE SIR
CHARLIE:
YOU SOUND AS IF YOU’D LIKE TO POISON IT…YOU HAVEN’T, HAVE YOU?
SHIRLEY:
OH WE’RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT…ANYMORE
[CHARLIE LOOKS AT HER SMILING AT THE JOKE BUT SHIRLEY FACE IS STERN AND HIS SMILE DISAPPATES]
CHARLIE:
FOR GOD’S SAKE SHE’S NOT DEAD IS SHE?
SHIRLEY:
I’M SORRY SIR I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING OF THAT
CHARLIE:
THEY’D TELL ME SURELY IF I’D DONE…BUT I HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING.
[SHIRLEY GOES TOWARD THE DOOR]
CHARLIE:
IT’S NOT MY FAULT, I JUST SELL INSURANCE
[SHIRLEY CLOSES THE DOOR]
CUT TO:

SC4. OFFICES OF BULTISH INSURANCE COMPANY
[CHARLIE IS SITTING AT HIS DESK MAKING APPOINTMENTS. A COLLEAGUE COMES OVER TO HIM]
COLLEAGUE:
CHARLIE, SOMEONE TO SEE YOU AT RECEPTION
CHARLIE:
WHO THE FUCK COMES HERE TO SEE ME? TELL THEM TO PHONE.
COLLEAGUE:
SHE WANTS TO CANCEL
CHARLIE:
OKAY I’LL SEE HER.
[HE RISES AND MOVES TO THE RECEPTION AREA]
CUT TO:

SC5. RECEPTION AREA OF BULTISH INSURANCE
[A MIDDLE AGED WOMAN, VAL, IS SITTING ON ONE OF ONLY TWO AUSTERE AND CHEAP CHAIRS IN THE RECPTION AREA. CHARLIE COMES OUT OF THE OFFICE SECTION TO GREET HER. SHE HAS RETAINED HER HOURGLASS FIGURE THOUGH SHE IS PROBABLY A DRESS SIZE MORE THAN 10 YEARS AGO AND IS NOT UNATTRACTIVE WITH DARK CURLY THICKISH SHOULDER LENGTH HAIR AND LARGE BROWN EYES BUT THE LINES UNDER HER EYES BETRAY A LIFETIME OF SERVITUDE]
CHARLIE:
MRS WOLLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME
VAL:
MY…I…WE WANT TO CANCEL
CHARLIE:
HAS SOMETHING HAPPENED TO YOUR HUSBAND?
VAL:
NO…NOT AT ALL
CHARLIE (JOKING WITH HER):
THANK GOODNESS I THOUGHT YOU DIDN’T NEED THE INSURANCE FOR A MINUTE. CAN’T CLAIM IF HE HITS THE DECK BEFORE WE’VE HAD ANY MONEY OUT OF YOU, EH?
VAL:
IT’S THE PREMIUM
CHARLIE:
BUT WE’VE BEEN THROUGH THAT; IT’S QUITE AFFORDABLE
VAL:
ROGER’S NOT SURE
CHARLIE:
DOES HE UNDERSTAND HOW HELPLESS YOU’LL BE IF HE DOES DROP DOWN DEAD (VAL RECOILS) SORRY IF I’M BLUNT MRS WOLLY BUT IT’S MY JOB TO HELP PEOPLE HELP THEMSELVES, EVEN WHEN THEY DON’T WANT TO.
VAL:
COULD I PAY IT MYSELF; WITHOUT HIM KNOWING? I HAVE MY OWN ACCOUNT
[SHE STATED THIS AS IF IT WERE A LAUREL WREATH AROUND HER HEAD]
CHARLIE:
OF COURSE, AFTER ALL YOU’RE THE BENEFICIARY.
VAL:
AND ROGER DOESN’T HAVE TO KNOW
CHARLIE (LAUGHING):
YOU’RE NOT THINKING OF KILLING HIM ARE YOU?
[VAL’S MOUTH SEEMS TO CURVE UP AT THE THOUGHT]
VAL (DISCONCERTINGLY):
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?
CHARLIE:
I’LL GET ANOTHER FORM
VAL:
I’VE COME RATHER A LONG WAY AND I’M A LITTLE HUNGRY. COULD I TREAT YOU TO LUNCH?
[CHARLIE IS TAKEN ABACK BUT NOT UNCONSCIOUS TO THE OBVIOUS SIGNAL]
CHARLIE:
FINE - GIVE ME TEN MINUTES TO REARRANGE MY TWO O’CLOCK WILL YOU?
[VAL SMILES]
CUT TO:

SC6. A MOTEL ON A ROUNDABOUT ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF THE CITY
[A RED PEUGEOT PULLS INTO THE CAR PARK, FOLLOWED BY A BMW]
CUT TO:

SC7. A MOTEL ROOM
[CHARLIE IS SHUTTING THE DOOR. VAL HAS ALREADY ENTERED. SHE IS SHEEPISH AND LOOKS AS IF SHE’S READY TO BOLT]
VAL (EARNESTLY):
I’VE NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED ANYONE ELSE BUT ROGER, EVER.
CHARLIE:
ARE YOU UNHAPPY?
VAL (VAGUELY - AS IF SHE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THE TERM):
NO, NO
[SHE SITS ON THE BED AND IMMEDIATELY GETS UP AGAIN]
VAL:
I SHOULD GO
CHARLIE (COLDLY):
WELL I HAVE YOUR SIGNATURE, THAT’S ALL I WAS EXPECTING
VAL:
CAN WE BATHE FIRST?
CUT TO:

SC8. THE MOTEL ROOM LATER
[THEY ARE BOTH NAKED ON THE BED. VAL IS ASTRIDE CHARLIE AND ROCKING SENSUOUSLY, FEELING EVERY MOVEMENT AS IF THEY WERE A COMBINATION OF FIRST SEXUAL SENASATIONS. CHARLIE IS ALMOST PASSIVE BENEATH HER. THE CAMERA PULLS AWAY TOWARD A CHAIR FROM WHICH CHARLIE’S JACKET HANGS. THE INSURANCE FORM IS VISIBLE IN HIS INSIDE POCKET, THEN DROPS TO THE FLOOR WHERE VAL’S HAND BAG SITS. THE CAMERA DELVES INSIDE AND COMES ACROSS AN UNOPENED PACK OF CONDOMS]

CUT TO:

SC1. THE INTERVIEW ROOM TAINSTAL POLICE STATION
[WINDSOR AND TUDOR RE-ENTER CARRYING CHARLIE’S WALLET]
TUDOR:
I TOLD YOU OLD CHARLIE BOY WAS A SLICK ‘UN DIDN’T I TOM?
WINDSOR:
WHAT DO YOU SELL CHARLIE?
CHARLIE:
INSURANCE – I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT!
TUDOR:
HE DID TOM, HE DID
WINDSOR:
BUT WE’RE POLICE OFFICERS AND WE CAN’T JUST TAKE ANYONE’S WORD FOR IT
TUDOR:
TOO MANY VILLAINS TELLING LIES
CHARLIE:
I’M NOT A CROOK, I’M AN INSURANCE SALESMAN
WINDSOR:
SOME MIGHT SAY THERE’S NO A LOT OF DIFFERENCE THERE
TUDOR:
REMEMBER MY GRAN – GOD REST HER SOUL AND ALL THAT – SOLD HER A DUD THEY DID. MY GRANDFATHER DIED AND SHE NEVER GOT A THING, DOUBLE INDEMNITY OR SOMETHING
CHARLIE:
LOOK GUYS THIS ISN’T A FORTIES FILM NOIR – CAN I GO OR NOT? IF THE GIRL IS HURT IT’S HER FAULT.
WINDSOR:
NOT WHAT SOME WITNESSES SAY
CHARLIE:
HOW CAN YOU…
TUDOR:
SAID YOU TURNED INTO HER DELIBERATELY
CHARLIE (REMEMBERING THE WEIRD SAT NAV CONTRADICTION):
I DID CHANGE MY MIND – BUT I NEVER LEFT THE ROAD!
WINDSOR:
UNLIKE YOUR VICTIM
TUDOR (CHUCKLING):
VERY GOOD TOM
CHARLIE:
THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH HER IS THERE? YOU TWO HAVE BEEN STRINGING ME ALONG – WHY? BECAUSE SOMEONE SOLD YOUR GRANNY A DUFF POLICY?
[TUDOR PUSHES HIS FACE RIGHT INTO CHARLIE’S]
TUDOR:
YOU’RE HERE MY SON BECAUSE YOU ATTEMPTED TO MURDER A WITNESS TO A BANK ROBBERY.
[CLOSE-UP ON CHARLIE’S STUNNED FACE]
FADE TO: