The Angel Who Looked the Wrong Way

Angels aren’t always what you’d expect: peace loving guardians, bent on making sure you don’t step off that curb and into that oncoming bus.

There are angels of the mischievous sort, as well.
Claudia is one such angel. Her wings slightly askew and her attention span nil.

Yes, Claudia is the reason most folks wake up in the emergency room and not the morgue. But had she been a proper angel, the poor soul who‘s now being fitted with a body cast, would not have had an accidental fall, and would now be at this very moment enjoying the bodily delights of her current boyfriend. And not suffering at the hands of a groggy nurse.”

“Claudia?” said the matriarch of angels.

“Yes, Mother Miriam?” said Claudia.

“Where were you when that young woman was falling off the balcony?”

“Oh, I had my eye on that one, ma’am,” said Claudia.

“Yet she still fell off the balcony,” said Mother Miriam.

“Well, ma’am,” said Claudia, ”I was there in sprit.”

“I know all about you’re being there in spirit, stupid girl,” said Mother Miriam. “What I want to know is why weren’t you there to prevent that young lady’s tumble?”

“I didn’t see it coming, ma’am," said Claudia. “I became distracted by the pleas of her gentleman friend. He was ever so charming.”

“He was proposing,” said Mother Miriam. “Now you’ve spoiled everything.”

“Yes, I know,” said Claudia. “But it felt as if he were he were proposing to me. And all I could do was respond in kind. I’d never been proposed to before, ma’am.”

“You sat there on the balcony’s ledge," said Mother Miriam. "With your back to the one you were supposed to guard.”

“I’m sorry, Mother Miriam,” said Claudia. ”But she wasn’t nearly as attractive. I should have been in his charge instead.”

“Never mind what you wanted!” said Mother Miriam. “The point is you let your charge down, and that is inexcusable. Fawning over a mortal man like a dreadful school girl. I don’t know what I’m to do with you. That‘s how we lost Buddy Holly, you know.”

“I know,” Mother Miriam. “I was there.”

“And what were you thinking then?” said Mother Miriam. “Tell me, again. I never tire of the story.”

“Well,” said Claudia. “Ritchie Valens was so darned cute. The Big Bopper and Buddy? Not so much. I should have been guarding Ritchie. Not the pilot. I’d been a big fan of Ritchie’s in real-life time. But I was much too new at being an angel, and that poor boy looked so scared to be up in that plane that--”

“You couldn’t keep your eyes off him,” interrupted Mother Miriam. “But the pilot was the one flying the plane! He was the only one that needed guarding. All it would have taken was a little whisper in his ear, ‘Turn this plane around. This winter weather is dreadful,’ but what do we get instead? ‘Bye, bye Miss American Pie. Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry,’ Good lord if I ever hear that song again I may go and fall off a balcony myself.”

“I love that song,” said Claudia.

“Well, you should,” said Mother Miriam. “You practically wrote it.”

Having been given yet another suspension, Claudia left Mother Miriam’s office and vowed never to neglect her duties.

Though those words rang remarkably familiar as she made her way home.