The spell of boredom: a Ruby Charmchanter chronicle

Ruby was bored. She stared moodily at the grey lockers and thought for the forty-second time that day how unfair her expulsion from Hermione Lemonflash’s School of Magicality and Sorcery really was.

She had been at Beigecoat’s Academy for one hour before the boredom set in and it had only lifted occasionally since. Invoking a soaring spell during the long jump had impressed her new classmates. She’d enjoyed conjuring a moustache onto the portrait of the headmistress, although she quickly had to erase the real moustache she’d projected onto the headmistress’s face during assembly when the children began nudging each other and pointing.

She sighed. That was the trouble; she had to restrict herself so much here to avoid getting into more trouble and incurring her mother’s wrath, which had been terrifying enough after the Hermione Lemonflash affair. Who would have thought transporting a baby Ragedragon into the Head of Trickery and Prestidigitation’s bathroom could cause so much commotion?

Maybe a good old-fashioned x-ray snoop would liven things up. Ruby glanced round then slipped her wand from the pocket of her grey blazer. She muttered to herself, flicked the wand and the row of locker doors faded away. Ruby wandered along the line, inspecting the contents: books, folders, coats, a few sweets and chocolate bars. Nothing exciting. As she’d expected.

Ruby was just toying with the idea of turning all the boys’ coats into glittery ballgowns when a shove from behind sent her flying. She hit the lockers with a loud crash and fell to the floor. Her wand rolled away, stopping by a pair of shiny white trainers.

Ruby looked up. The trainers were attached to the legs of Victor Glump.

“What you doing, Farmfarter?”

“It’s Charmchanter and I’m not doing anything. Not that it’s any of your business.” Ruby stood and glanced at the wand.

Glump looked down. Ruby darted forward but he quickly placed his foot over the wand and shoved Ruby back. Slowly he leaned down and picked it up. Holding it up, he examined it curiously.

“Give it back, you fat pig,” Ruby grabbed for the wand but Glump lifted it out of reach.

“Fat pig? That’s not very nice is it? Where are your manners, Farmfarter?” He lowered the wand tantalisingly out of Ruby’s reach. “You want this back, do you?”

Ruby eyed the wand balefully. Glump grinned then brought the wand back towards his face. He paused, then slowly and deliberately pushed it up his right nostril.

His smile faded and a confused look spread over his face as the wand kept going, gradually disappearing up his nose. There was a sudden flash. The wand spun into the air and dropped smoothly into Ruby’s pocket.

Glump let out a squeal, and then another. He lifted his hands to his face, but they weren’t hands now, they were stubby black trotters. They probed over the short snout and down to the pink, lipless mouth. Panic showed in his tiny, piggy eyes. He lifted his head and roared then dropped to all-fours and trotted rapidly down the corridor, leaving a shiny pair of white trainers in his wake.

Ruby’s sides hurt from laughing. Doubled over, she knew this was going to mean more trouble for her very soon, but at least she wasn’t bored.