A Touch of Lavender - Part 11 - A Craven Danger Mystery

Craven Danger sat sipping his root beer as Betty walked into the coffee shop. He hadn’t noticed her come in. But Betty noticed plenty.

Craven was busy eyeing the cutie-pie waitress who was squirting whipped cream over a banana split.

“Don’t forget the cherry,” said Craven.

“Excuse me?” said the waitress.

“The cherry,” said Craven. “It’s my favorite.”

“You getting fresh or something, Mister?”

“Oh, no,” said Craven. “I was only sayin’ that the cherry is my favorite part of dessert, is all."

“Okay, then,” said the waitress. “I got enough gorillas around here making with the banana jokes, I don’t need any stranger coming in here messing with the other fruits.”

“Sorry," said Craven. “All I was sayin’ was, first ya get the ice cream. Then ya lay down that banana and ya cover ‘em both with the chocolate sauce and all that sweet swirling whipped cream. Ya top it all off with a cherry, and it’s all just one sweet delight after another. Then ya eat it all up till there’s nothin’ left but a sweet memory. And when yer all done, all ya wanna do is lay back and go ta sleep.”

“Listen, creep,” said the waitress. “I’m a hard working college girl trying to scrape together enough tuition money for one more semester. Then it’s out of this monkey cage. Don’t you apes ever give it a break? If only your momma could see you now, Mr. Smooth. I wonder what she’d say. Ask yourself that, wise guy.”

The waitress then took off her apron and tossed it at Craven’s head.

“I’m taking my break!" she yelled to the cook. And out the back door she went.

Craven sat motionless on his stool as the sweet smelling apron lay draped over his skull.

“What’d I say?” said Craven.

“Nice goin’,” said Betty.

At the sound of her voice, Craven cringed and thought twice about coming out from under the apron.

“Betty?” said Craven. “What did I tell ya about trailin’ me while I’m on a case?”

”Some case," said Betty. “The way yer eyes was buggin‘ out of yer head, I thought that waitress was gonna pluck ‘em out and drop ‘em in yer root beer. Woulda served ya right, too.”

“She was just a diversion,” said Craven.

“And I’m sure her momma wants ta keep her that way,“ said Betty.

”What?” said Craven.

“All I know,” said Betty, “is that you was eyein‘ that college girl like she was a juicy sirloin and ya ain‘t had nothin‘ to eat in weeks. Just like in the cartoons. Only you’re the sorriest lookin’ wolf I know.”

“What are ya talkin’?” said Craven. “I’m always on the square. I don’t play the field, ever. Heck, I don’t even know where the field is.”

“That’s the first right thing ya said all day,” said Betty. “Wanna try for two?”

“Whaddaya sayin’?” said Craven.

“I’m sayin’ take that silly apron off your head and follow me. I got Sidney and a cozy cab outside. We got us a case to solve. And we ain’t solvin’ nothin’ sittin’ here sippin’ sodas.”

When Craven pulled the apron off his head, he eyed Betty as she headed out the door.

Betty? thought Craven. I ain’t never watched her walk away before. I gotta start payin’ better attention.