domino effect of an obvious rupture

there is an obvious rupture
in the relationship that s/he’s trying to
preserve---
it showed its face when s/he accepted
kindness from someone that s/he secretly
found attractive,
it showed its face when s/he started to
remember things about him/her
that s/he really shouldn’t have been
pondering for so long, had s/he been
truly dedicated to his/her significant other of
choice---
certainly the rupture began to show
when the flirting began,
when the two tossing their heads bag in
laughter,
began to blurt out the name, the memory of
the other faces not present in the moment &
some would say that
danger
was being invited---
the domino effect echoes,
it stains & forms an imprint on the inside,
even if one doesn’t really think they want it &
when they go home at night &
they want to fuck, but the person they’ve chosen
doesn’t feel like rolling over,
they go to their special place &
masturbate to the memory of this new person in
their life,
with eyes squeezed shut,
with heart beating fast,
wishing that they had done different,
wishing that they had held out alone
for just a little bit longer,
thinking that all the pieces would’ve fallen
the exact same way---
after the release,
sitting in their own juices,
they long with all their heart to see this new person
again,
knowing that the dominos are still falling,
knowing that it can all be leading towards something,
wondering if it is all worth it to
toss the present stability up into the air,
in order to try
again.