MINT CONDITION

here's a little story that i must get off my chest
its a tale of my ex girlfriend and her scintillating breasts
my given name is william though close friends just call me bill
and my girlfriend was named penny and i wish i had her still

it all began quite simply, we were having us some lunch
i had read about this contest and i told her "honeybunch...
they are looking for an emblem for a newly minted coin
soon to be in circulation and this contest we should join"

she asked "what's your suggestion" and i said "your lovely rack...
it would look great on the front while your behind adorned the back"
we laughed about it loudly till the novelty wore thin
but the next day i discovered she had sent some photos in

i told her she was crazy and my plan had been in jest
but her scowl insinuated i had made fun of her chest
well, her photos won the contest and the next thing that i knew
both her breasts and ass were being passed around by all of you

our neighbors to the north have funny names for coins they make
like the 'loonie" and the "toonie" but our 'boobie" takes the cake
but it sent me off the deep end, she was recognized a lot
"you're the girl on the new quarter....what a gorgeous set you got"

she acquired a gang of groupies who would camp out on her lawn
hoping for a glimpse of bosom they could cast their eyes upon
she became the biggest story that the world ever seen
and her cleavage made the cover of the most read magazines

she did every major talk show where she'd smile and then undrape
and the audience would cheer in admiration of their shape
all this time we grew more distant as she rocketed to fame
and i hung my head in sorrow for i knew i was to blame

then she got a movie contract and was off to hollywood
and i finally got that phone call saying we were done for good
so what started as a joke became a nightmare, stark and strange
i had lost my precious boobies, not a nipple back in change