DIY Boy Band Kit

Congratulations!, you've taken the first step to stardom by purchasing the DIY Boy Band Kit. Follow the instructions carefully and you will be the object of every pre-pubescent girls fantasy before you can say Homosexual pool party tragedy.

Firstly you will find the criteria needed for the other members of the band, and it's as simple as it looks, they fit 5 catagories.

1. Slightly over weight and mousey looking lead singer who must be as bland as possible, this is essential for merchandising reasons as no one wants their daughters covering their walls with posters of some leather clad lothario with all the intentions of the Marquis de Sade leering down on them as they flick themselves off to your latest track.

2. Inoffensive effeminate backing singer who must be gay or at the very least be willing to blow someone for a record deal, it is very important that although he must look a big girls blouse at no point must his sexuality be broadcast until the record sales drop and can be used for a kick start back into the charts.

3. The 3rd member must NOT have an IQ of above 30, whose main purpose will be to turn up on panel and celebrity game shows and generally make an idiot of himself, must preferably be willing to marry equally stupid member of female girl band and also like pies.

4.& 5. These 2 don't matter, and are the easiest to find, basically just drag the first 2 teenagers that you can find off the street, give them a weeks dancing lessons and make sure they always stay in the background, no one will ever notice or remember them.

For ease you will find 5 inflatable dolls in the kit to use until you have the band assembled.

On stage presence.

This consists of 2 very important moves which can be practiced with the Chair that comes with this kit.

Move 1:
'The sincere sit down', which will be used during the first half of all your songs.

Move 2:
' The key change stand up', which incorporates standing up and raising your arms aloft to emphasise the lyrics (see lyrics below), the timing off this is paramount and must be finely honed.

Lyrics:

Below you will find all the subject matter to shoehorn into over used metaphor, never think about trying something more inventive as you will only confuse your fans.
They want it simple and spelt out so they can champion it as their own, clarifying the emotions they struggle to convey to their loved ones during weddings and funerals.

Use these for starters:

Wings, aloft, angels, raise, above, high, higher, heights, lifted.
Mountains, lakes, clouds, skies, Sunset, Moonlight, waves.
Shadow, shoulders, darkness, light.
Father, Mother, Daughter, Son, Wife, Dog.
Tears, Laughter, Heaven, Hell, Satin, Silk.
Somewhere, sometimes, never, always.
Living, lived, without, winning, lost.
You, me, she, he, it.
Love, loving, lover, arms, hands, eyes, lips.

Cram as many of these into your song with at least 4 key changes to get the maxium use of 'Move 2' (see on stage presence) and you will be fine.

Its as simple as that, I hope this kit helps you live the dream.
Once you have this mastered, our DIY Boy Band Video kit is available for the bargain price of £22.99