Toxic Love

By Hades502

Sat, 23 Feb 2013
  • 1664 reads
12 comments
 

There she is, with my friend, defying me to take her back while she softly seduces him. I miss her. Since I quit her, she is all I think about. Those indulgent and sweet kisses every time I can get a break from work, just to sneak out the door and share in her ambience. She was always there for me every time I was worried or stressed, to relax me and calm me down, get my head back on straight. I remember the night I left her. It was late, I was drunk. I had planned this day for weeks. I needed to sleep soon, but be rid of her before I allowed my bed to take over for her wispy caresses. I took one last fiery kiss that seemed to burn my lungs with her passion before our love died with a wet fizzle as what we once shared slowly cooled in the bright moonlight.

Baby, I had to say goodbye to you. They all told me that my love for you is an addiction, and it is as you are so hard to quit. They all told me that you were slowly killing me, and I know this to be true. I love you and will remember all our times together fondly for the rest of my life when I think back on our days together. Baby, you were destroying me. It was getting hard to breathe around you anymore. You made my heart race too much.

I’m sorry, my love. I just had to quit smoking.

Gawain Gnosta

Certificate 12
Story
Autobiography

Comments

Submitted by Hades502 on
Thanks Jen, Quite cheesy an analogy I think, but I thought it was funny enough to attempt. it could have been written a little better, but I almost cancelled the whole thing for its silliness and rushed through to write it in all of five minutes or so. Also, I'm back with her again. That bitch is hard to leave. GGHades502

GGHades502

Submitted by TVR on
Very clever. Fizzed with passion and really intrigued me, and the last line was a real nailer. I guess we all have mistresses (not necessarily a woman), addictions, obsessions, most of them hard to do without. Thought your piece was really neat and I really didn’t see the end coming. Well written and great title which made perfect sense in the end. Trev

TVR

Submitted by Hades502 on
Thanks Sue, I wasn't sure if it was too poor an analogy, comparing it to some sort of romantic love. Glad you appreciated it. GGHades502

GGHades502

Submitted by Richard L. Prov... on
This was good H-5. A nice gentle touch until the end, then a great plan to quit. Richard LP
Richard L. Provencher

Submitted by Hades502 on
Thank you very much for your comments, Richard. GGHades502

GGHades502

Submitted by denni1 on
This is really clever, brilliant. I thought you were being hypnotized by some burd! Fabby xx

Submitted by Hades502 on
Thank you Denise, I'm still not sure how good it is. I am of the opinion that it was too much of a leap to compare smoking to romantic love, but it did spring from feelings of loss when I attempted to leave her. GGHades502

GGHades502

Submitted by denni1 on
Any addiction is an obsession, like love can be. It's sooperb. Honest xx

Submitted by Hades502 on
Wow Denise, Thank you very much for your attention. I am not only referring to your initial comment, but the fact that you took the time to look at this again, then responded again to my remarks to you. Also, I am American and we don't generally refer to women as birds. I have an English character in my Ghosts thing and I spelled it with an i. I noticed you spelled it with a u. But, I also noticed the way you spelled superb. So, I am curious as to how I would spell it to be more genuine. Maybe you were just being cute when you used a u. I am very crazy with digression and I am sure that what I am about to write is completely irrelvant as my characters will do what they do regardless, but in the States we can refer to women as chicks at times. Most women are cool with this, but there are some that seem to find it degrading, even though I do not believe this to be at all derogatory when men refer to women as chicks. What are your thoughts on this? Is it considered rude to call women birds in the UK? Thank you so much in advance, even though I am not sure you will even look at this again or respond to it. I am about done with this site for today, but I am intrigued by you and I intend to read much of your stuff the next time I am here. :D GGHades502

GGHades502

Submitted by denni1 on
Hello there, D .. You will find here that if comments are given, it generally means we like your stuff. Don't underestimate yourself, altho lots of us do, and it's so sweet when anyone responds so it's good manners to reply! I'm from Edinburgh, the capital of Scotland and a 'burd' is a girlfriend! 'Ma burd'. My girlfriend. I have only been writing for about a year and l do use Scottish sentences, if you do read my work. It's how l hear it in my mind, or how l heard it in the actual conversation. Maybe that's not right, to write like that, but l feel comfortable in doing so. I do not care what anyone calls me. Babe, darlin', chick, burd, woman. As long as l know it's from a good place. All dialects have their very own words for females. 'Hen' is an old fashioned word. Like ' awrite, hen?' I think it's a Yorkshire thing to say 'duck', which means 'dear'. Lots of folk on here will tell you better than l can! You just carry on writing how you do. I ain't no expert! I would absolutely love you to read my ramblings. Thanks for the support .. Ps .. 'Bird' is the English word for girlfriend. The 'u' is the Scottish way! Denise xx

Submitted by Hades502 on
Denise, Thank you very much for answering my question. I need to alter my tale a bit, but glad to make it more authentic. Thank You!!!!!! I have not been on in a while, but I will at least attempt another tale of yours today. I have read several so far, but you have much more for me to delve into, and I promise I will, but maybe slowly. GGHades502

GGHades502

Submitted by denni1 on
Hey .. whatever you care to read/comment on, is absolutely fantastic! Slowly is probably best. Not something l can do, really. I probably miss half of the point by reading too fast! Hava lovely day xx