Close

So close so so close so close close so close furious notes write deep in the night deep release confusion in words dark tangled weed of words under water swamp dive I travel in my mind only ticket I've got I dive down swamp down swarming dragonflies dragonflies dragonflies stare closer always closer eternally rewarded by the iridescent shine the wings so intricate veined the infinite articulation of that body hover hoverfly dragon fly dragonfly above the water just above love the words no love for grey loop life home to office to home to office lying always lying it's the life I want not true only following other people opinions bend and stink like melting plastic melting under strong opinions hot beliefs life lost life decaying can't no more swamp drown in self pity out don't want no want. Swamp bright and hot night over thick dark swamp bright colours insects strange life thin dragon no! thin dream like porn fantasy all on film life on film not real no real life burn away burning bulb held to film that corny old image projector broken film melted through hot bulb and behind white wall pure pure white screen empty inside life inside they gave me life life sentence when I was born life of pure white nothing real other people not real life not real nothing rules equations laws behaviour all behaviour determined by utility the cruel struggle to survive — comfort there I want my swamp it's only dream thin film images floating of thin film thin but I want it want dream swamp cliffs! The cliffs my father spoke of in Shetland grassy slopes with thistles heather who knows no! flowers sea campion cliffs and bright sky light blue but wind always wind the clouds little white blown across changing ceaseless traverse billowing fraying wisps wings of cloud lost to air gone thinner thinner gone damn need to travel need to