Trick or Treat

My neighbor's, black cat's paws scratched on my porch floor
Its snarling meows reverberated throughout the house
The commotion frayed my nerve ends
Springing from my chair, flinging the front door open
I found a black, headless mole lying on my welcome mat
Trick or treat

After dark, I drove to my Uncle Joe's for a costume party
Springing cheerily onto his creeky, wooden porch
I came face to face with a jack 'o lantern on a moving swing
Its crooked smile sent a shiver down my spine
The melting pulp streamed from his demonic eyes
A sudden, loud crackle sent it lurching towards me
Trick or treat

Arriving back at home, I saw a familiar figure on my porch
Dressed in her normal, finely-tailored pant suit
Wearing a mask baring the disfigured face of her boss
After I took two, eager paces toward the steps
She let out an agonizing wail, screaming, the kids are missing
In stunned shock, I dropped my keys, and ran to her
She flung away the mask of her despised boss
On the face of my mistress sat a wry, devilish grin
Trick or treat

After the fidelity shock, my mistress and I watched some TV
Now in a frisky, mischievous state of mind
I decided to administer the last shock to the innocent kids
I wrapped some mass wafers sprinkled with blood wine into a bulletin
Soon, we heard a loud trick or treat cry at our door
We hurriedly rushed to the eager kids summons
Opening the door, we found two kids dressed in novel costumes
One was wearing the head of Mother Teresa; the other Joan of Arc
With a hearty laugh, I placed the bulletin in Mother Teresa's hand
She eagerly opened the wrapped sacrament
A dazed look came across her face, then she began to cry
My mistress and I howled in the most derisive of manners
Shocked at the cruel reaction of a supposed acquaintance
The kids slowly removed their smiling masks
The cherubic faces of our Lutheran minister's kids stared back at us
Trick or treat