Indentured Love

When your disheveled grouse awakens, and pecks at you with her morning breath,
or shreds the morning paper, before you have had a chance to read the sport's scores
When in haste, she packs you a sack lunch of a soggy sandwich and stale Cheetos, and tells you to get a soda to go with it
When she calls you at work and says that she just wanted to know what you
were doing, or shows up, out of the blue, to tell you her second aunt just had a baby
When she starches your cashmere undies, and purchases you a pair of Fruit of the Loom briefs to assuage your anger
When she scratches your brand new Mustang, and callously retorts that the insurance will take care of it
When she weeps for days, after you tell her that you want to try and have a baby, not understanding that she is not ovulating
When she gushes with surprise over her Christmas gift, then promptly returns it to the store for exhange the next day
When you complain about eating left-overs twice a week, and she exclaims that you rarely take her out to eat
When you clean the house to surprise her, and she searches every corner, until she spots a trace of dust, then smugly says that a man does not know how to clean the house
When she invites her parents over for the weekend, knowing you already had plans