The Way I Feel

Cherry

By Bee

Mon, 18 Nov 2013
  • 4334 reads
19 comments
 

 

I'd like to rip you apart and rebuild you,

take out your brain and clean it, stop

and restart your heart after first breaking it

before he does - as you will.

 

I'd put you together - a clever likeness 

of what I thought a daughter ought to be -

less irritatingly young, less sickeningly pretty,

a little less like me 

 

as I was. It's hard to imagine now 

how I could have been so foolish as to throw

my life away. Wisdom - why don't we have it

when we need it, instead of finding it too late?

 

I'd pummel your sweet face between my fists.

slap you senseless if I thought it would make a difference,

but all I can do is watch and wait, and wonder

why you will not listen. I didn't 

 

set a good example. I thought you'd learn 

from my mistakes. 

Turns out it doesn't work like that. Turns out,

I'm only here to pick up the pieces in the end.

 

None of this will make much sense -

not until you have a similar conversation

with your own dear child, as I fear you will unless

you break the cycle. My only wish 

is that you never come to understand

the way I feel today.

 

Certificate 15
Poem
Other Fiction

Comments

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

Powerful write here, bee. I know what it 's like to be a parent. I'm very familiar witht he emotions here. Well done. 

A typo: Drop the s from daughters. I think you meant it to be singular.

Rich 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Rich. Yes it was meant to be daughter - thanks for spotting, and for your kind comments.

Very much appreciated.

Bee

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

A fab piece Bee, really love it! What can you do? Just watch and wince or step in and listen to yourself sounding like white noise.

 

Submitted by Bee on

So true, Jane. Than you.

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Very poignant, will she read it? Lots of interesting little inserts, and flows so well.
My children were much more inclined to accept consideration of teaching in scripture regarding everything including 'sizing people up' than 'because I said so', and then my suggestions about applying to partiuclar situations afterwards, but your own experiences are a different matter I guess. I hope she can work the situation out well soon – keep the doors of discussion open, if it is about your own family!

Rhiannon
 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Hi Rhiannon.

I'm glad you thought it flowed and that it worked well. I think it's great that you could refer your children to a higher source of wisdom, which no doubt helped them to grow so well grounded. The subject of my poem, which true to life for many, is just fiction in this case, though it expresses emotions I have encountered as a mum, from time to time, if in differing circumstances. 

Your comments are very much appreciated, as is your wise advice.

Thank you,

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Eds for the cherries !

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Wonderfully strong writing, Bee...well deserving of the cherries.

Tina

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks so much, Tina.

Bee

Submitted by VeraClark on

Unleashes some strong emotions in a refined way. Lovely one, Bee.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Vera, that's really nice.

Bee

Submitted by celticman on

the little bees a bee, but she'll understand better when she's a big bee.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Very insightful !

Thank you celticman.

Bee

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

A powerful message in this poem Bee.  I think you put over really well.  Jenny.

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you Jenny.

Bee

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Sets out that old, old, problem really nicely.  What can you do but watch and hope?

Parson Thru

Submitted by Bee on

Thank you, PT.

Bee

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Bee

I think this is a very powerful poem - full of emotions that we parents go through. I think my kids wish they could remake me, as they think I am the one whose made mistakes.

Jean Day

Submitted by Bee on

We all make mistakes, Jean. And you are right - it's about the emotions. Thank you for reading and for you kind comments. 

 

Bee