“He should have gone to …” (IP)

Gold cherry

By Rhiannonw

Wed, 20 Nov 2013
  • 3958 reads
17 comments
 

(partly inspired by the Specsavers adverts)

Was that his daughter coming down the path?
He thought her living far away in Perth.
Or was it just his vision playing tricks, he’d not
yet been to that optician, clean forgot.
Or was it just a day-time dream of things
he’d like to happen – musing memories brings
such hopes, ideas drifting to his mind,
and wakefulness no longer clearly defined
at such an age, his vision certainly was blurred,
and strong desires with dreams concurred.

[IP: Was it a vision, or a waking dream? (a line from Keats' 'Ode to a Nightingale') – use it or think on it and start writing – my thinking removed the indefinite article!]

Certificate U
Poem
Families
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Bee on

Loved this, Rhiannon. You've made me smile.

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

That must be good, Bee! Thanks, Rhiannon

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

A good one, Rhiannon. An apt response to the Inspiration Point. Even the advertisements can be a source of inspiration. Well done.

Luigi x

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thank you, Luigi.
My mind had been busy on other things, and suddenly was free and wanting some relaxation and wondered what could I make differently of the phrase, and my father-in-law's sleepiness and confusion, and his sometimes odd dreams (he woke me up screaming the other night and looked very sheepish when I went in as he'd been 'enjoying' a cops and robbers playout from his childhood enjoyment of 'Boy's Own' comics I think!) suddenly came together with the adverts in my head, so a bit of fun, but more poignant than cops and robbers! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

Good one for the IP, Rhiannon. Loved this: . . . strong desires with dreams concurred

Rich

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

I'm so glad you liked it, Rich. regards, Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Nice to see some cherries, Thank you. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Luke Neima on

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Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Nice surprise. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

This is great - clever take on the I.P as well.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

thank, Vera. regards, Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Very real-seeming and smartly written too. I like it        Elsie

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks for telling me, Elsie, regards, Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Denzella on

Hello Rhiannon, I enjoyed this and once again you dealt cleverly with the IP.  Not keeping up with them at the moment myself but glad to see you are.

Congratulations on golden cherries. Well deserved.

Moya

This is only  a flying visit will be back

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Nice to hear from you, Moya. Thanks for your comment, but don't worry about how much you get through reading or commenting on, just do what you want to when you can! warm regards, Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

This is a fun read - and very fitting for the subject you were to write about. I'm having visual problems of my own these days, having glaucoma, so I can appreciate the idea of not being sure you can recognise the right person in the distance.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Glad you enjoyed it, Jean, and sorry to hear about the glaucoma – I hope you get some good relief for it soon. regards, Rhiannon