REMOVED FOR COMPETITION

Cherry

By Jewel Serpent

Thu, 06 Feb 2014
  • 1132 reads
5 comments
 

REMOVED FOR COMPETITION

Certificate 18
Story

Comments

Submitted by scratch on

Absolutely fabulous first piece of writing that you have posted.  Totaly gripping, affecting and transporting.  Was unsure about the structure of the first sentence but then the whole thing became transformative.  Wonderful, simply wonderful.  Typo towards the end: "the burnt down Tescoes (Tescos) in the background".

 

Submitted by Jewel Serpent on

Why, thank you, scratch! This is the greatest number of positive words that I have heard all at once in this span of this day, so I would like to express my sincere gratitude to you, whoever and wherever you are. 

Thank you for pointing out that error, it has now been fixed. Actually the entire thing could do with an edit, structural and otherwise, but I think, with all due modesty, that I'm happy with how it's turned out at the moment. 

Secondly, could you enlighten me as to what is meant by these pair of cherries atop my page? Is it you who has bestowed them upon me?

Submitted by scratch on

You're welcome.  It's a good piece of writing and you should be happy with it.  Regarding structure and editing; it's an art form in itself.  A wise writer (famous too, and one who posts on this site) told me that it is important to accept that you can never get a piece to be perfect no matter how much playing around with it you do.

Regarding the cherries that have miraculously appeared?  The site has a dedicated team of editors.  All newly submitted pieces get scrutinised by one or more of them.  If a piece of work appears on the list that is considered by them to be a little 'special' in some way it is picked out and awarded a 'cherry'.  Alas your cherry has nothing to do with me I'm afraid, although I believe it to be well deserved.

Congratulations.

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

A sharply written, rich and moving piece. 

 

Submitted by Jewel Serpent on

Thanks!