Facial

1.

"He's got a beard," said Larry.

Pizza. Stuffed crust.

"Spicy chicken?"
 

2.

"He's got a beard," said Mick.

He was on an IT help desk.

Have you tried turning it off and on again? - said the sign above the computer.
 

3.

"He's got a beard," said the dude on the tractor, as he drove past Larry and Mick.

"Did you hear that?" said Larry.

"No," said Mick.

The dude on the tractor drove on.
 

4.

He's got a beard! - said the poster advertising the new Bruce Willis film.

No he hasn't - someone had cheekily written underneath.
 

5.

"He's got um..." said Larry.

"What?" said Mick.

"Dunno," said Larry.
 

6.

The bearded population of the United Kingdom rose up as one and vanquished their tormentors with a single swipe of their silver scimitars.
 

7.

"He's got a beard," said Bob.

Swipe
 

8.

He's. Got. A. Beard.

Microchip implant.

Cyborg.

Metallic re-speciation.
 

9.

And thus it was so.

God, Santa, Richard Branson, Kenny Everet... and on and on.

No one could have foretold.

There was no 'contingency'.

The 'Safety Razor Mountain' rose to stratospheric heights.

And the sweeper swept no more.
 

10.

"Weird beard," said Larry.

"Don't ever say that again," said Mick.

[ fin ]