Lyric

By Ray Schaufeld

Thu, 27 Nov 2014
  • 5968 reads
19 comments
 
An old labourer
Entered by Dionysus,
His sap rising,
Plucked his strings
And sang.
 
His clothes were shabby and his hair unkempt
His voice sometimes faltering
And his strings lacking melody,
Yet opening himself to the spirits dance
He gave freely.
 
He told me of his life.
A farm boy who moved to Athens,
Rising before dawn
To build the pillared temples and theatres
With manly sweat.
 
Watching the dramas
Of Gods and Heroes.
 
Now, home again
He played at our winter hearth,
And hearing him in the firelight
Singing of his special love,
We followed and felt
His rises and sways of mood and mode
And cheered him.
 
 
 
 
(the poem is loosely based on someone I know, there's a timeless feel to the man and his music so I shifted him back a few millennia)
 
 
Certificate U
Poem
Exmouth - It's the South West's Best Kept Secret
Spiritual
Biography

Comments

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

I like the timeless feel, poets from the past still with us.

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Cheers Philip, glad you like it.

Submitted by celticman on

that's a lovely thought. Making a song about someone you know. Special. 

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Thanks CM. smiley

Submitted by Bee on

This is so full of the warmth of sharing. I loved the mutual cheering and fire-sidey folky feel to the poem. 

Enjoyed.

Bee

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Thanks Bee, lovely feedback. It's hard to write poetry about music and musicians as it's using one art to describe another. I might reshape it into verse form and open it up to Abc musicians to sing.

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Elsie,

I adored this poem, it felt like a piece you would read around a warm fire, with friends.

I also loved the idea it was about someone you knew...makes it even more appropriate.

Beautifully written.

Jenny.  smiley

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Thanks Jenny I might share it at the gathering where the person and myself both go in a couple of weeks.

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

That's a wonderful idea Elsie, I'm sure your friend will enjoy the poem and appreciate the effort you made to write it.

Good luck and have a great time.

Jenny.  smiley

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Elsie, so skilfully written, and the sentiment behind it, beautiful.

Tina

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Cheers Tina, great feedback.

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Elsie

I liked the idea of this ancient lute player, and then liked it even more when I found out it was a modern version of him.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Cheers Jean glad it all made sense to you.

Submitted by VeraClark on

Some people absorb you and your pal sounds like one of those personalities. Loved 'manly sweat', he reminded me of the pied piper taking everyone with him.

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Thank you Vera, yes he's a nice guy, very much an individual.

Submitted by forest_for_ever on

I don't know by what criteria the webmasters choose a cherry pick, but I would give this piece one if I had the power.  LOVED it.

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Thankssmiley
 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Hi Elsie,

just popped in to wish you and yours a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year too.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Jenny, many thanks and the very best to yourself and those close to you xx