she sits alone this christmas
By pumadelta
- 766 reads
Soft sprawling light engulf the living room
Her hat, which has seen better days
Garnishes the oak farmhouse table
Her tweed coat, discarded like a wrapper
Coils the sofa.
She was glad to get out of the bitter cold.
Her arthritic fingers tighten around
The bottle neck. A stiff drink is what she needs
To warm her insides and inflame her liver.
A cigarette tip glows, half tilted in the ashtray
Heaven only knows why she is still here.
She kicks off her shoes and wriggles her toes
Its like the new birth of a chick hatching out
Of it's shell.
She looks around and sees pictures of her
Grandchildren, sips the gin
And blows smoke rings in their honour.
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Comments
A lovely description. It
A lovely description. It feels more like prose to me, but I can see why you present it as a poem - so much is said with such brevity. Some wonderful images and although we learn little about your character, she has charm. It is a shame about the technical errors and really worth correcting them.
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Lovely reread this, such a
Lovely reread this, such a good piece, just a couple of corrections - kicks of (off) and Its like (It's).
Hope that helps. :)
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